The Gateway (2003-03-04)

THE GATEWAY

lume XCIi number 37 « the official student newspaper at the university of alberta «+ www.gateway.ualberta.ca «

tuesday, 4 march, 20038

rompted by a severe
budget crisis, admin
ants fee differential in
law, medicine and MBA

ENIFER PABILLANO

pwsEditor

udents at the U of C are currently
fighting a tuition proposal nearly iden-
fical to U of A fee hikes this year:
U of C admin is asking for a 6.3
sper cent base tuition increase, coupled
Wwith differential fees doubling tuition
n Law, Medicine and the MBA pro-
Gram over the next few years.
| The proposal, which hits the maxi-
mum tuition increase allowed by the
ovince, came as no surprise to the
Gampus community, as the U of C
thas been overhauling their budget this
) ear to avert a projected $24 million
deficit if current spending and reve-
Bue were maintained.
» The U of C has slashed $30 million
from its budget this year, and asked
aculties to cut spending by four per
ent this year and three per cent the
ext.

of C tuition proposal
ikes fees 6.3 per cent

In comparison, the U of A asked fac-
ulties to drop spending by 4.4 per cent
over the next four years and added an
extra one per cent cut this year, caus-
ing the arts faculty to raise entrance
grades and suspend hiring on two
positions to maintain academic qual-
ity and cut back on student numbers.

“We're facing
extraordinary cost
pressures. ... We have to
tackle that on a bunch
of fronts, and one of
them includes tuition.”

ROMAN COONEY,
U OF C VP (EXTERNAL RELATIONS)

“We're facing extraordinary cost
pressures,” said Roman Cooney, U of C
Vice-President (External Relations).
“[For next year] we're looking at
increased expenses at six per cent and
increased revenues of two per cent.
We have to tackle that on a bunch
of fronts, and one of them includes
tuition.”

EE UOFCTUMION * PAGE6

alii:
MAYLENE LOVELAND

Brad Bell (17) and the Bears rolled through the Tigers (above), but lost the CIS gold to the Bisons 3-0. See page 13.

oe

MIKE ROBERTSON

AD BASSIST The Bombers stole the show at the Likwid Lounge on Saturday.

Rutherford Library exhibit
showcases 17th century literature

MIMI SIMON
News Writer

Step into the seventeenth century next
time you visit Rutherford South by
strolling through the exhibit Cheap
Print and Revolution: The Thomason
Tracts, 1640-1661.

Conceived by University of Alberta
English professor Dr Sylvia Brown and
graduate student Kelly Laycock, the
exhibition serves as an introduction to
the recently purchased microfilm col-
lection, Thomason Tracts, 1640-1661.

This thorough collection of early
modern print culture was assembled by
English bookseller George Thomason
at the height of the English Civil War,
and includes newspapers, broadsides,
books, and pamphlets.

Dr Brown noted that the layout of
the exhibition mimics the experience
of walking down a street in seven-
teenth-century London.

“[The texts] are displayed in their
original context. These things were
street literature. ... They are meant for
the casual passerby. You can take a
moment out of your day and look at
something unusual outside your own
experience with very little effort,”
she said.

The the

academic appeal of

Thomason Collection is the variety of
the nearly 23 000 items; the scope of
the collection alone will make it a valu-
able research tool for many University
departments.

“These things were
street literature. ... They
are meant for the
casual passerby. You
can take a moment out
of your day and look
at something unusual
outside your own
experience with very
little effort.”

DR SYLVIA BROWN,
U OF AENGLISH PROFESSOR

“To an English major, somebody
interested in the history of technol-
ogy, the English Civil War, or religious
studies, the Thomason Tracts crosses
such a spectrum for people interested
in the early modern period,” she said.

Brown also raised the important
instructive benefits that the collection

could provide.

“Tt really expands the range for PhD
dissertations both in history and in
English. It also increases the possibili-
ties of teaching undergraduates ... so
you read Milton but also read the street
literature that was being published at
the same time.”

However, Laycock stressed the Tracts
can be appreciated non-academically
for their vulgar humour as well, which
she believes will shock many.

“Some of the funniest [texts] were
the ballads making fun of the Rump
[the remnants of the Long
Parliament]. ... If you think early
modern people didn’t have a really
gross sense of humour, you would
realize these ballads are all about how
the Rump needs to be washed because
it was full of shit. It was very fun and
earthy,” she said.

The microfilm was purchased on the
recommendation of Dr Brown, who
encountered problems while research-
ing for her book on Puritan women’s
writing.

Though the Rutherford Library con-
tains an extensive microfilm collec-
tion, including Early English Books,
1475-1640; 1641-1700, Brown felt
there was still a gap to be bridged.

PLEASE SEE EXHIBIT + PAGE 6

The Gateway’s
panel of poster
critics—gents

Inside

Outside

From the archives

ee 16 Chris
: Krause

examines the

Fae Tuesday Might flurry, axe is the , Asbestos, a substance linked to various cancers and the potentially fatal scarring of F
pained Piesinges Bronze Age weapon of choice ; High -8, Low -25 history, and facts

Kjennerand News 1-6 é lung tissue, was found in high concentrations in the ceiling finishes of the Lister Hall and myths, of

R h Opinion 7-10 Wednesday Maybe snowy, Georgie Washington and Michener Park residences. Bob Brewster, a resident of Michener Park discovered i i ti aay
ozennart— toss 3.15 | axes the cherry tree; High -10, Low -20 crumbling asbestos in his light fixtures the previous fall, but after approaching Housing FOS Ce Ble Eee

2740 sharp words Sports 13- a Thursday Snowy sometimes, Lizzie Borden deals and Food Services with the concern, he received no response. The University’s projects feature. Truth be

at the SU election Features 16-17 out forty whacks; High -11, Low -18 manager, Dan Pretzlaff was surprised by Brewster's news and said, “We'll try to get at told, one per cent

candidates’ best A&E 20-22 Friday Might snow, administration allegedly that as soon as possible.” The University announced plans to refinish of Canadians are

efforts. Brink your Comics 23 | “axes” us in the head; High -12, Low -16 Michener Park ceilings for that May. | O08 1 epileptic, so listen

hankies, hacks. Classifieds 24 Source: Environment Canada up, folks.

NEWS

2

tuesday, 4 march, 2009

THE GATEWAY

. tuesday, 4 march, 2003

volume XCIl number 37

Published since 21 November, 1910
Circulation 10000

ISSN 0845-356X

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Candidates split on VP Academic priorities

SHERISSE SZYMCZAK
News Writer

Dealing with issues ranging from the
price of textbooks to the teaching
quality of professors, the Students’
Union Vice-President (Academic) is
responsible for all of the undergraduate
students’ academic concerns.

Five candidates are vying to address
scholastic issues: Trevor Miller, Chris
Jones, Janet Lo, Vivek Sharma, and
Matt Robertson. Mat Brechtel is the
current VP Academic.

VP Academics in the past have

been slowly whittling away at

the general Academic to-do
lists from previous years: teaching
evaluations and the add/drop dead-
line have seen some success in past
years. What do you see as the con-
cerns to address in the next year, and
how do you plan to succeed at these
concerns?

Miller: The biggest problem we're
facing right now is that all we are
doing is whittling away at the spe-
cifics that VP Academics have been
working on. If I get into office, I plan
on knocking these things off the list,
by getting these things done.

Jones: We need to focus more on
broad systemic issues rather than
the specifics like print-on-demand
or Beartracks availability. Questions
like how does the Students’ Union
use its influence on General Faculties
Council: administration has one-third
[of the total seats], staff have one-
third, and students have one-third—
grad students have 20 per cent of the

"PHILIPHEAD
Trevor Miller

seats and we have the rest of them.
So how can we use that to push our
agenda to the forefront? Because over
the past few years we've been asking
University administration to do things
like [change] add/drop deadlines, but
it’s much more effective to tell them
to do things via GFC, because once
General Faculties Council says this is
the way it will be, University admin-
istration has no choice but to do that.

Lo: My main concern has to do with
teaching quality. The quality of
education at this university needs
to be examined, and one thing I
have looked at doing is implementing
a teaching program that ensures
TAs and instructors all have basic
communication and teaching skills
equivalent to a second-year education
student, as well as making sure
they are familiar with University
technology such as WebCT and the
smart classrooms. With those skills,
we'll have better quality of education,
and students will be better able to
excel on campus.

Sharma: What! wanted to do was look
at changing things without having
to fuddle around with administration
and swimming through a whole
bunch of black tape. What I wanted to
do is clean up our own backyard. One
thing I wanted to see happen for sure
is less posters [during elections] and
less paper waste for next year, because
this year we spent $10 500 on posters.

That's absolutely ridiculous. Number
two, I want to set up a catalog of web-
sites for classes so that you can know
what kind of classes you are getting
into.

Robertson: The major concern is text-
book costs, because tuition is going
up we have to find other ways of
reducing education costs. Print-on-
demand is one of the issues [SU
General Manager] Bill Smith brought
forward a few years ago, which was
continued by Execs in past years, and
is something that is going to continue
in the future. Getting better advertis-
ing for used textbooks, better infor-
mation out to students regarding their
textbooks, better information to pro-
fessors regarding course packs and the
potential value they have to them.
Reducing the cost of texts is the way
to go for the VP (Academic) position.

The VP Academic is respon-
sible for representing student
interests within the University
community; however, forums like
town halls and gripe tables have been
unsuccessful for gauging student opin-
ion in the past. What will you do to

Miller: My main point is transparency
and accountability. I intend to keep
the students fully informed of what is
going on and also make sure students
have a greater input in the SU Exec
itself, starting with VP (Academic) and
continuing to the rest of the Executive
Committee, by instituting reports and
by always keeping an open e-mail
address so students can speak to the
VP (Academic).

Jones: Innovations like the web board

_ are very useful. We need to advertise

it more. I'd like to see gripe tables
come back—they were not as success-
ful as we may like but they were cer-
tainly something. I question the value
of town halls, but we can give them
a try again. In terms of talking to
students, I don’t think there is much
more you can do but be available
and open to them, not necessarily
being in the office all the time but
going downstairs, just chilling, seeing
what’s up, and letting people come
and talk to you.

PATRICK FINLAY
Chris Jones

Lo: It’s very important to com-
municate with faculty associations.
Faculty associations also need to be
encouraged to speak to their con-
stituents and their students, as well
as get input from faculty. It’s impor-
tant to strengthen the faculty asso-
ciations’ standpoint, and using my
experience as a faculty association
executive this year and last year, I
have a few ideas to reach out to
students and make sure they keep
active on Campus.

Sharma: You just have to keep on talk-
ing to students. Most students quite
honestly feel alienated and feel the
SU is a bunch of hacks that do their
own thing and nobody knows what's
going on with it. What you have to
do is use the Internet as a means of

: ill
PATRICK FINLAY
Janet Lo

communication. Also, just mobiliz-
ing: as you've seen, Mike Hudema
had people who you have never seen
before working on tuition.

Robertson: The best thing to do is
to stay informed. You have to keep
a pulse on what students are inter-
ested in by getting out there yourself
and meeting students, asking them
about their concerns and problems.
You have to keep it personable and
make it so that you are not insulated
from students. That's a problem that
has occurred in the past.

Do you think the value placed

by the University on research

vs teaching is appropriate? If
so, what will you do about it?

Miller: don’t feel there are any major
difficulties with the teaching-versus-
research focus at the University, but if
students feel differently, I would genu-
uinely ask them to tell me their opin-
ion on the subject. Really, how many
other candidates out there are willing
to haul that extra mile for the stu-
dents or hop on one leg for what they
believe in, or crawl on their belly to
the goals they are trying to achieve? I
can say there's none.

Jones: We are more heavily balanced
on the research side of things than
teaching at the moment. We need to
start bringing that balance back. The
University has been focusing more on
research and grad students than on
undergrads and I think a little more
action at General Faculties Council can
start tipping that balance a little bit.

Currently, the vision is to be
indisputably recognized in teaching,
research, community service—one of
the finest in Canada and among a
handful in the world. I'm not sure
that what we aspire to is to be
the best in the world at everything.
The Universities’ Act says we are a
provincial University. We are respon-
sible to the people of Alberta and we
need to start thinking about whether
we want to be a good provincial uni-
versity with excellence in a bunch of
areas, but not necessarily competing
with Harvard or MIT, and deciding
where we want to go, because that
vision of the University is about six or
seven years old. It may be time that
we start evaluating that.

Lo: It’s not a very good balance right

now. We need to look more into

teaching. I realize the University is
funded mostly on its research but the
quality of our education is slipping
because of the emphasis on research.
We need to focus on teaching, and
that’s where the universal teaching
program comes in. Technology and
things like that will always make our

Vivek Sharma

‘

education more accessible and easier
for us, so we should just look into mid-
term teacher evaluations and teach.
ing programs. Looking into those
things will get the focus away from
research.

Sharma: It’s such a lie. It’s obvious
they are pretty much diametrically
opposed and a professor has to either
spend time researching or spend time
teaching, which is why all the solu.
tions we're looking at are not abou
bugging professors anymore than you
already have because they are frus.
trated, they're tired, there's already
been a lot demanded of them. I'n
looking at using technology as a cost.
effective way to help students leam
better.

Robertson: A lot of my competitoy
have said that TA teaching programs
and programs that teach teachers how
to teach are very important. I agree.
However, there needs to be a respect
for professors and what they do, a
respect for research, for how research
funnels money into the university and
in turn gives students better opportu-
nities to have services. Professors by
and large do a good job, and they do
research. They're here more as a guide
than as a teacher. When you come to
university, youre trying to learn how
to learn, not necessarily be taught.

PATRICK FINLAY

Matt Robertson

Who would you choose as
the celebrity spokesperson
for your campaign and why?

Miller: I would choose Blackbeard
because I think he and I have a lot in
common.

Jones: He's not really a celebrity but
there's a guy that has made a working
grandfather clock out of Lego. That
sums up the spirit of my campaign
beautifully. Lego—what more could
you want?

Lo: I'd choose Steve Nash. I like bas
ketball. He’s a great Canadian role
model and he’s a lot of fun. He's the
little guy on the big court playing
with all the big guys and I think J sort
of see him similar to myself. I'm the
little girl competing with all of the big
guns, and I have the confidence that!
can do this. He’s the role model forall
the kids who want to make the NBA.

Sharma: Tyler Durden of Fight Club,
because he is different and he repre
sents that other side, and I think you
can take a different creative stance on
things. :

Robertson: Corey Feldman, because
over the years he has shown a real
aptitude for overcoming adversity and
also for binge drinking. Him as my
spokesperson can really show people
the value of perseverance, the value of
not giving up on you dreams, Corey
Feldman was a star: let’s not joke
around. He fell from grace a little bit
he's getting back into it a bit now with
the reality shows. I think that’s won-
derful. We need to learn from Corey
Feldman’s experience, and use it 10
foster student unity. :

THE GATEWAY + volume XCIf number 37

NEWS

3

Candidates aim for effective BoG representation

COSANNA PRESTON
News Writer

Taking student voices to the top level
of the University is the job of the Board
of Governors (BoG) Representative.
Of the Board’s 20 seats, only two are
student positions. One seat goes to the
President of the SU, and the other to
this elected Representative.

Two candidates are competing this
year for the BoG Rep position. Roman
Kotovych, a sixth-year computing sci-
ence co-op student is running against
Scott Winder, a fourth-year comput-
ing science student with a business
minor. The current BoG Rep is Mike

Reid.
1 Executives, the BoG Rep has a
very low profile. So why are
you running for this position?

In comparison to the other SU

Kotovych: 1 chose the position because
I've been on campus for six years. I’ve
been involved to a large extent with
campus life and the Students’ Union,

Roman Kotovych

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Allthat she wants is
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some funky fresh new
Gateway writers.

We sawthe sign;now
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and no cruel summers.

Look into the eyes of
astranger and drop
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at 4to experience the
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THE GATEWAY

Bhangra mixing since 1910

and I am really interested in getting
involved and representing students on
bigger issues facing the University,
students, and the community. I really
enjoy politics and this is the way I
think I’d best be able to serve stu-
dents.

Right now, we are at a crossroads
for the University of Alberta. We keep
hearing we want to be indisputably
recognized, but at the same time we
want to maintain our strength as a
public undergrad teaching institution.
So there's going to be some important
choices the university is going to have
to make, and I think I'm in a good
position to be a strong voice on that.

Winder: I've actually taken a stance
in my campaign to try to raise the
profile of the BoG Rep because it really
is important. In my eyes, it is the sec-
ond-most important position that you
can run for. The SU President and the
BoG Rep are the only two people who
have a say on university life issues such
as tuition and growth, not just the
organizational and operational policy

PATRICK FINLAY

Drivers wanted:

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of the Students’ Union. I have noth-
ing to say about how much SUBmart
charges for candy, but I have some-
thing to say about what your tuition is

going to be next year.
) BoG Rep: the person seems
to get elected, and then dis-
appear completely from public view.
What will you do about this, and

how would you maintain a higher
profile throughout the year?

Low profile is an issue for the

Kotovych: It comes down to main-
taining relationships with the board
members: not just being a reactive
force in the BoG, but bringing forward
proposals, bringing forward motions,
not just waiting for the university to
bring something forward and reject-
ing it.

In terms of students, I want to have
informal forums before key BoG meet-
ings to let people know what's going
on with the BoG and to get some feed-
back from students. The second thing
is the SU has created a web board,
and I think this would be an excel-
lent opportunity to let students know
what the BoG is doing and to get some
feedback.

Winder: If the Students’ Union
Executive that gets elected is going to
be very passionate about lobbying for
students’ interests, I plan to whole-
heartedly help out with that by lob-
bying issues, even through protests. I
plan to take a voice to the Board of
Governors very strongly, not just as
another voice that isn’t really doing
anything there except voting on the

issues.
3 BoG being the SU President,
it can be hard for a BoG Rep
to make their opinions heard. How
is your job differentiated from the
President’s seat on the BoG? What
will you do to ensure your voice is
heard?

With the other person on the

Honest ¢ Friendly « Approachable

Scott Winder

Kotovych: The BoG position is differ-
ent in that the SU president [has] a
broader mandate. The time issues and
the mandate are different because the
BoG Rep is not responsible for run-
ning the SU. I would have arguably
more time to commit to talking with
other board members and commit-
ting more time specifically to board
issues because I don’t have to deal
with a lot of the more SU-related
issues. One thing that is important is
to maintain communication with the
SU President and GSA President ‘cause
that was an issue that came up this
year from the students.

Winder: The best thing about having
two seats is we have the ability to
move a motion and then second it so
it actually gets started and put on the
table. I think the Board of Governors
Rep and the President back each other.
[But] I see myself more as an indepen-
dent: whereas the SU are more wor-
ried about the SU’s interests, I would
be strictly speaking for the students.

PATRICK FINLAY

Who would you choose as
the celebrity spokesperson

for your campaign and why?

Kotovych: I'd say Bill Maher, the
former host of Politically Incorrect.
Whether you agree or you don’t agree
with his views, he’s been outspoken
on his politics and doing what he
thinks is right. And ultimately, you
need.a BoG Rep that has a strong voice
but is also willing to listen to the stu-
dents as a Representative.

Winder: I don't really believe in
celebrities. I don’t believe in putting
people on pedestals. I respect them
for what they do but I don’t really
have an idol per se. I suppose some-
one like Noam Chomsky, because he
is a loud voice for independent unbi-
ased media, and he’s a great political
debater as well as linguistics profes-
sor at MIT and he’s just an all-around
amazing guy. He really sheds light on
issues that don’t generally have light
shed on them.

iva le rocls
the black degtuesday's
: ‘te ave

4 NEWS

tuesday, 4 march, 2003

ntial candidates say fosteringasense

of community on campus is the key to success

Candidates call for
print-on-demand,
bigger lobbying efforts,
school spirit initiatives,
lower prices on campus,
environmental projects

KRISTINE OWRAM
Associate News Editor

To the community at large, the
President of the Students’ Union
is the chief representative for all
U of A student interests. Providing
policy direction and developing public
relations for the SU, the President
is also responsible for the overall
administration of the Students’ Union
and the coordination of the Executive
Commitee.

Nine candidates are shooting for
the top job this year: fourth-year hon-
ours biochemistry student and cur-
rent SU Vice-President (Academic) Mat
Brechtel; fourth-year anthropology
student Geneva Rae; open studies stu-
dent Mike Reid, who has degrees in
chemical engineering and law and
is this year’s SU BoG representative;
fourth-year physics student George
Slomp; third-year political science stu-
dent Ryan Adam; third-year commerce
student and current SU Vice-President
(Operations and Finance) Steve Smith;
George W Bushwhacker, a political
‘science’ major specializing in peace

and negotiation; Labattman and the
KokaneeKid, who can’t remember
what year they started and think they
might be in women’s studies; and
PEPSI, which has completed its under-
graduate degree in fascism and is
currently working towards a PhD in
delicious beverages. The current SU
President is Mike Hudema.

Are there any initiatives that
were started this year that
you would like to continue or

expand upon?

Brechtel: The single thing I want to
expand upon is the print-on-demand
initiative. For two years before I was
VP (Academic), it just sat on the table
with nothing happening to it. I was
able to make some really good prog-
ress this year: I found a company that
will try it, I talked to the University
Bookstore and they're willing to try
it, and I think it’s to the point where
we can pilot it. If that works we'll
hopefully be able to convince the
University to adopt it.

Rae: The Eco-Conference would defi-
nitely be something I'd continue, but
I'd provide a little more diversity than
[this year’s SU] had. I thought it was
too expensive for students as well,
which made it unsuccessful.

I would also expand upon this year’s
activism and media stunts. I would
like to develop a greater relationship
with the University though, because I
think they can be our allies. I under-

PATRICK FINLAY

Mike Reid

stand there was a lot of animosity cre-
ated this year, and I'd like to correct
that.

Reid: In general, this year has had
some very good initiatives in terms
of expanding the Students’ Union's
role in the lives of students. The
Revolutionary Speakers Series, now
that it's not costing us a lot of money
and it pays for itself, I think it’s a great
idea. The Sustainability Conference,
that was another great idea. These are
the sorts of things we should be doing
in order to become relevant to stu-
dents. I also think the ECOS Office is
going to play a very important role in
the coming year or two, and its role
needs to be expanded.

Slomp: I think the general concept of
the Eco-Conference, getting students
together not only to listen to a notable

PATRICK FINLAY
Steve Smith

speaker but also getting into smaller
working groups and coming up with
tangible solutions to problems is a
really great way to do things. I think
our tuition debate, for example, could
benefit from having a similar event.

Adam: When I was first asked how I
feel about tuition, I said I agree with
the message, but I don’t agree with
the method. It was a student initiative
by the Students’ Union Executive and
I really appreciated that: I think it
showed a lot of apathetic student
voters how much power we can have
if we put our foot down and say we're
not going to take this, we need to have
some alternatives. However, it’s the
Students’ Union Executive’s responsi-
bility to inform, not to tell people
what to believe in.

Smith: I think the Environmental

PATRICK FINLAY

Mat Brechtel

Coordination Office of Students, the
Eco-Conference, the Revolutionary
Speakers series, those should all be
continued, although the Revolutionary
Speakers series in a slightly modified
form.

In addition, 1 think the general
atmosphere that was set was one
of openness this year. We had our
Executive Committee meetings behind
open doors instead of closed. doors,
which was a first. We were free to dis-
agree with each other in public. I just
think the spirit of general democratic
openness was an important thing that
I'd like to continue with.

Bushwhacker: I would like to move
into all foreign universities and col-
leges that pose an imminent threat to
our democracy.

We'd like to create a democratic uni-
versity at the University of Lethbridge

From Backpack to Briefcase presents:

Boost Your Potential
March 5 2003 @ 12:00pm on SUB Stage

fy bee) RBC z
OUI [faetsenne® Bm Bootion ETS sHaw) retina ai oe,

www.su.ualberta.ca/fbtb ° fbtb@su.ualberta.ca « 492-4086

You are Graduate #2745 of 5500 ...how wi

UNIVERSE

you

Squeeze more out of life...but how? CEO and Co-founder of Booster Juice, Dale Wishewan,
will share his personal experience surrounding the establishment of the rapidly expanding, Edmonton based, franchise.

Don't Want To Work For "the Man"? Turn Your Passion Into A Business
March 5 2003 @ 5:00pm 0-10 Lower Level SUB

Pro snowboarder to business owner. How did Randy Jespersen go from Pro snowboarder to Owner of Olive Skateboards
and Snowboards. How did Todd Tansowni start up The Summit Snowboard shop.

When Will The Government Start Taking Your Money?
March 6 2003 @ 5:00pm 0-10 Lower Level SUB

Did you know interest accrues on your student loan as soon as you leave full-time study? What else do you need to know?
Director of the Student Financial Aid Information Centre, Clare Ard, will provide all the vital information you need to
make repaying your student loans as painless as possible.

UITRAVEL CUTS
TANT!

ITY OF ALBERTA

centre for student
development

Eo tbtletcase
3
—

stand out?

THE GATEWAY + volume XCI{i number 37

NEWS 5

in particular, because their 3000 stu-
dents pose a major threat to the 30 000
students who attend the University of
Alberta.

Labattman and Kokanee Kid: We'd
really like to get much drunker. I
think we've expanded alcoholism on
campus a little bit, but 25 per cent of
the campus still abstains from alcohol,
and we see that as a serious problem
for our campaign. Sobriety is not a
fair academic policy. If half of you get
drunk and hung over before an exam,
the half who aren't hung over have an
unfair advantage over the ones who
are.

We'd also like to keep giving away
free stuff, because we've given away
lots of free clothing to our roommates
and to our friends, but I keep walk-
ing around campus and seeing non-
Kokanee gear. There's a free T-shirt in
every case of beer, so where are they
all?

PEPSI: For one, we would continue
corporate sponsorship, but obviously
the fascist rule of Pepsi would replace
the brutal fascist rule of Coke, and it
would be more present.

We'd also have more beatings, defi-
nitely more random brutal beatings.
Also, we would join in the campaign
for rising tuition as an initiative from
the University side in order to raise
tuition for our own selfish purposes.
This campaign is not about students.
We're also trying to build the largest
gay spa/hovercraft known to man.
Z what is one thing you hope

to have accomplished by the
end of next year?

If you are elected president,

Brechtel: I want to _ improve
Orientation, because we lose some-
thing like a quarter of our students
after first year, and about half of that
is through people who just have no
desire to come back, not people who
get kicked out.

Orientation is a really good way to
make students feel welcome, but there
are some things we could do to make
people feel more welcome, because
right now it helps them find a group of
friends, but immediately that group is
gone and you move into new groups.
If the group that you got to know
was also the group that you were
thrown in with once class began, I
think people would have somewhere
where they would feel comfortable,
and that’s the first step in getting
people to stay around University.

Rae: I'd like to establish an environ-
mental management system, some-
thing that the Students’ Union can use
as a framework so we can work with
the University as well.

I would basically establish a frame-
work for monitoring and setting
targets for sustainability and environ-
mental awareness on campus. With
6000 new students coming to the
U of A next year, that brings on
additional waste and additional usage
of resources, and the University is
already looking to reduce their oper-
ational costs. This is one of the best
ways to do that.

Reid: Make the Students’ Union rel-
evant to students again. Students on
this campus need to see the Students’
Union as performing a vital role in
their lives. Can we do a lot about
tuition? Maybe, maybe not, but at the
end of the day, we'll do a lot more
good for people on this campus if they
know they can look to the Students’
Union for a cheap meal, cheap beer,
concerts, and fun. If you can’t get a
cheap beer at the PowerPlant from
your own Students’ Union, then what
are we doing?

Slomp: What really matters is this
campus, so I'd really like to focus on
fostering a community spirit. Many
students are here for four years, and
it’s viewed as a means to an end, not as
an end in itself: By having more com-
munity programming events, having
more involvement opportunities for
students, we'll add meaning to a uni-
versity career, and I think a lot of stu-
dents are looking for that.

Adam: One of the things I talk about
that has already been started is the
coalition/umbrella type of lobbying
group that Mike Hudema and Anand
Sharma are trying to put in place,
trying to effectively lobby the pro-
vincial government with a more uni-
fied type of prepared, powerful voice.
The more people we have involved,
the more powerful our voice will be
and the harder it will be for us to be
ignored. Students should be able to
say, I know exactly what’s happening,
I know exactly what's going on, and I
know exactly what we're fighting for.

Smith: The one thing I would like
to do is reform the Students’ Union to
the point where it is actually run by the
people who are supposed to be run-
ning it, which would be the elected
officials: Students’ Council for legisla-
tive matters, the Executive Committee
for executive matters, and DIE Board
for judicial matters.

Council alternates between being a
rubber stamp and being mindlessly
opposed to Executive initiatives for
the most part. There are a few coun-
cillors who have provided the genesis
for a real body, but for the most part
there are a lot of knee-jerk reactions.
My God, this is so exciting! I'm the
sexiest candidate ever.

Bushwhacker: I would like to create
an atmosphere where they will not
question my democratic leadership in
any way, shape, or form, and they
will follow what I say and they will
remember that I am their only true
leader.

Labattman and Kokanee Kid: We'd
like to lower the taxes on beer. It’s
insane. You go to Mexico and it’s $1
for a case of beer. Here, it’s what?
$12.95. We're fair people, we like beer,
we want to have more beer and we
want you to have more beer.

PEPSI: A lot of bloodshed; we need to
thin the herds. There's only one way to
rule, and that’s with fear. Pretty much
the whole arts faculty could be done
away with; they?re not productive.
We would also burn a number of
books, a great number, most of the
Rutherford Library would probably go
up in flames. In fact, I met Rutherford
once and he was a dick anyway. We
would replace the building with a giant
can of Pepsi with a rubber nipple so
people can bask in our opulence. We'll
sit on top of it and throw lightning
bolts at them. You will go up and
suck on the rubber nipple while being
demeaned by us.

As the president, you're basi-

cally the pitchman for the

SU. What will you do to gal-
vanize student involvement?

Brechtel: Campus groups. When you
talk about why people hang around
university and what they do while
they're here, yeah, their classes are
part of it, but almost everybody who
spends a significant amount of time
around university has a specific group
that they’re part of. The Students’
Union can’t reach out to 30 000 people
directly, but what we can reach out to
is all the groups that exist on campus.

Rae: There’s really not a human face

to the Students’ Union. Most students
on this campus have no idea what
the Students’ Union does, so I'd really
like to work collectively with the
Executive and Students’ Council to
actually do some outreach next year.
This shouldn't be a 9-to-5 job. This
is my passion. This is something I’m
committed to. I remember what it was
like to be isolated in first year, and if
I had actually had someone sit down
next to me and say, hey, this is what's
going on around campus, you should
really get involyed, that would have
made a huge difference.

Reid: You have to work from the
grassroots up when youre galvanizing
involvement. You do that through stu-
dent groups. I think we really need to
support student groups with money
and resources. Student groups that are
getting started, getting off the ground,
we need to give them the resources
they need. The Student Groups Office
right now does a good job of that, but
I think it could also be used to help
connect with student groups more
effectively.

Slomp: We need to build more pride.
Let’s give more awards, for example.
At the student health centre, the sec-
ond-most prescribed drugs are anti-
depressants. That’s a serious concern.
Not only are students depressed, but
staff are as well, and I think this
comes from a lack of community
spirit. That's one of the main issues we
should be addressing. Tuition deregu-
lation, the U-Pass, parking rates—all
those things will fall into place once
we have a strong community.

Adam: Campus pride is a key ingre-
dient to campus life. We need to
emphasize the positive things about
our University. You must see some-
thing positive that can happen; we'can
make a difference, we can make this
a more unified campus, we can build
the spirit of campus. But the thing is,
as Students’ Union President, every-
thing that comes out of your mouth
should be a rallying cry. It shouldn't
be, this is my opinion, take it or leave
it. It should be, this is my opinion, tell
me what you think of it, tell me what
we could change.

Smith: If something is important to
students, they'll get involved in it.
From a Students’ Union perspective, I
think the reason why the vast major-
ity of students have nothing to do
with the Students’ Union, not even so
far as voting goes, is they don’t think
the Students’ Union matters to them,
and on a day-to-day basis, it really
doesn't.

All students will be involved to the
extent they want to be involved. The
classic thing to say during a campaign
is that we need to market ourselves
better, students will love and adore us
if we only marketed ourselves better
and communicated to the public how
great we are. I don’t necessarily buy
that.

Bushwhacker: Don't publish this, but
we're planning to brainwash most of
the students with our propaganda.
What you can tell the students is that
we will be doing what's best for them,
and if they recognize what’s good
for them, they will join automatically
without us having to reach out to
them.

I also want to prevent students at
all costs from going to the anti-war
protest rally that will be happening
5 March at 3pm in Quad, and from
going to the anti-war teach-in on
the same day at noon in Humanities
Lecture Theatre 3.

Labattman and Kokanee Kid: Free
beer. Enough said. I mean really, who

wouldn't show up for free beer? Free
beer and free swag.

PEPSI: Student involvement would
be mandatory because you'd be all
chained together; it would be forced
at the end of a whip, but you'd like
it anyway because it would be a
break from the toil of the salt mines.
Freedom is such a responsibility for
each individual to maintain, it’s really
overrated. No one really wants the
freedom to be able to do what they
want. When you have someone to tell
you what to do and enforce it for
you, even if you don’t like it, it gives
you pleasure in your work. If you still
don’t like what youre doing, you'd
be killed anyway, so it’s not a matter
of liking what youre doing or not,
because you wouldn't be alive. But
back to the question at hand, we
would ensure students’ involvement
with free popcorn. And burning hot
chains.

Who would you choose as
the celebrity spokesperson
for your campaign and why?

Brechtel: Tyler Durden. It would be
great to have the bi-polar spokesper-
son, so one guy could go piss every-
body off and get the word out, while
the other could be the mild-mannered
negotiating master.

Rae: David Suzuki. He believes that
if you can actually create a collective
community of really committed, pas-
sionate individuals on campus, any-
thing is possible, regardless of what
your background is. That’s the diver-
sity we want to foster.

Reid: James Earl Jones, because he’s
got a great voice and it’s very familiar.
People like James Earl Jones.

Slomp: Mr Dressup. Bringing in com-
munity spirit is exactly what he did.
Inviting the neighbourhood puppets
in to draw and to make crafts and to
get dressed up really shows that he
had a commitment to those puppets.
I'm sure Chester really appreciated all
his effort.

Adam: If I were to pick one celebrity
spokesperson to represent my cam-
paign, it would be Tiger Woods. He
excels at what he does, he comes from
a different walk of life, he had to
work hard to get where he is, he prac-
ticed, he toiled. I think that in the end
people can learn from him because
he says what he believes whether it's
popular or not.

Smith: Leonardo da Vinci, because
I think he can really get across
to the Latin-speaking population on
campus.

Bushwhacker: George Ww
Bushwhacker looks up greatly to
George W Bush and, of course, his
father, George Bush Senior. They both
know what they're doing, and we
would like to create the same kind
of environment at this university that
they have created in the United States
of America.

Labattman and Kokanee Kid:
Labattman? Kokanee Kid? Come on,
we're our own celebrities for our own
campaign.

If I had to pick someone it would be
Mel Gibson because he’s hot. Men like
him, women like him, and he’s gotta
be a beer drinker. Where's he from?
Australia? He's gotta be a beer drinker.

PEPSI: Why put anyone above us? I
guess the answer would be ourselves
and our gigantically inflated egos. In
fact, if you print that we put anyone
above us, we will kill you.

Geneva Rae

Ryan Adam
ue

SUPPLIED

LAUREN JENNINGS
George Slomp

= SUPPLIED
Labatt Man and the Kokanee Kid

6 NEWS

tuesday, 4 march, 2003

THE

Englifh.

oe
ee
*

Devil

CROMWEL

AND HIS

Monttrous Witch

Diftover'd at White-Hall :

Wich the ftrange and damnable Speech of this Hellith Maniter ,
by way of Revelation, touching Ning and Kingdom ; And a Nar-
rative of che Infernal Plots, Inbuneane AGings,and Barbara Con.
Biracies of this grand Impoftor, and mof audacious Rebel,
that durft aipire from a Brew-boufe co the Threne, wathing his
accu fed Hands in che Blood of his Royal Soveraign; and
trampling over cae Heads of che moft Loyal Subje&s,making
a Foot-ball of a Crows, and endeavouring utterly co extir-
patethe ROYAL PROGENY, Root and Kinde, Stem

and Stock.

KELTIEBROWN

Anew exhibit showcases tracts like this, read by common people in the 1600s.

17th century tracts a crucial
addition to library, says prof

EXHIBIT « CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

“Tdalways have to get my Thomason
reading done when I went to an
another big library. ... Our library is
a really major research library and it
should really have this because other
libraries which aren’t as major don't
have this gap.”

The Tracts were purchased last year
by the collaborative effort of the Office
of the Vice-President (Research), the
Dean of Arts, Rutherford Library, and

Brown, who donated a portion of
her Social Sciences and Humanities
Research Council of Canada (SSHRC)
grant.

In the end, Brown hopes the exhibi-
tion will encourage students to use the
microfilm in the library.

“This is a bit of a scary resource
because I think people feel uneasy
about microfilm, but it makes our
library the equivalent of really rich
European libraries,” she said.

U of CSU fighting differential fees

SU plebiscite shows 90 per cent of students are against differentials

UOFCTUMON* CONTINUED FROM PACE 1

The differential, said Cooney, is a
method used by many universities
to deal with academic pressures. “In
order to provide the quality of pro-
gram students want and need in facul-
ties, we need the flexibility to attract
those professors, and like other uni-
versities, differential tuition is one of
the tools you use,” he said.

Aware that the differential fees will
be a burden to some, Cooney said
attempts have been made to ease the
financial pressure on students.

As 80 per cent of the differential fee
goes to the faculties, 30 per cent of
that amount will go to student finan-
cial support. But he admitted that in
the short term, the increases combined
with the faculty cuts won't be easy.

“We will see increased quality over
the long term in the areas we've iden-
tified as priorities, but it was naive
to think there won't be an impact in
many areas,” he said.

The U of C SU will be vehemently

fighting the tuition proposal, which
will be decided upon at the 21 March
U of C Board of Governors meeting,
but SU President Matt Stambaugh said
the prospects of dropping the plan are
grim.
“We're lobbying the BoG mem-
bers, but it’s not looking good,” he
said. “They're in a financial mindset.
They see the word deficit and go into
moneygrabbing mode.”

Stambaugh said the SU _ was
adamantly against the differential
proposal, citing: a plebiscite at this
year’s SU elections that polled students
as 90 per cent against differential fees.

“Tt’s a gateway. drug, it’s the mar-

ijuana of tuition. structures,’ said
Stambaugh. “It opens it up to ones they
can sell next, like nursing or social
work.”

But while he’s not hopeful about the
tuition decision this year, Stambaugh
hopes the current coalition building
and community outreach initiatives
from Alberta universities will give stu-
dents more impact on decision making.
The harder stance taken by students
this year, he said, may also be a win-
ning strategy in the end.

“In the past, SUs have been too
quick to try the negotiating route. It
hasn’t worked in the past, and it won't
win the bigger wars until we go out
there and say we believe in principles.
[This year] I’m glad we took a more
principled stance, and I hope next year
they'll continue it.”

If the U of C Board of Governors

“Differential tuition is]
a gateway drug, it’s the
marijuana of tuition
structures. It opens it
up to ones they can
sell next, like nursing
or social work.”

MATT STAMBAUGH, PRESIDENT,
U OF C STUDENTS’ UNION

approves the proposal, U of C stu-
dents will see a $260 increase. Law
tuition will go to $11 000 over two
years, Medicine to $14 500 over three
years, and the MBA to $11 000 over
two years. As of 2001, 27-000 students
were enrolled at the U of C.

U OF C FEE INCREASES

+ The University of Calgary, established
in 1967, offers a broad range of PhD pro-
grams and research.

- If the proposed 63 per cent tuition
increase for 2003/04 is passed by the
Board of Governors, the cost of a one-
term undergraduate course will rise $26
to $438. The cost of a one-term gradu-
ate course will rise $34 to $581.

+ In comparison, the cost of one three-
credit. undergraduate course at the
U of A currently costs $576.60. One
graduate course costs $559.24.

+ Tuition is regulated by the province so
it cannot increase more than approxi-
mately 7.5 per cent per year, which, at
the U of C equates to $267 per full-
time student. If the proposed increase
is approved, students will be contribut-
ing approximately 23.5 per cent of the
costs of their education, as opposed to
22.6 per cent this year.

+ If approved, the U of C will introduce
a grandfather clause to the fees, mean-
ing that no student currently enrolled
ina program that will start charging dif-
ferential fees next year will have to pay
the difference.

STREETERS

With each SU election,
candidate posters get
pasted on the walls

Which campaign
poster do you like
the best?

Jaclyn Endicott
Honours
Pharmacology II

Mat Brechtel’s poster gives the most
information, and because it tells what
he’s trying to do, it’s a good campaign
poster overall. Most of the other [candi-
dates] don’t really say anything about
their platform, while his does.

Darin Bruins
Science Ill

| like the Pepsi poster. It’s pretty eye
catching. | like Steve Smith's poster
because it has a lot to say on it.| like

his campaign platform, lots of times

he has clear points that are easy to
read. A little campaigning is good news.
This year it has been pretty bad for pic-
tures though, lame compared to previ-
ous years.

Cathy Mrowka
Arts Il

like the ones that are bright and
eye-catching. Jadene Mah’s posters are
bright, and she has included her picture
on it, unlike Janet Lo. The ones that

| really don’t pay attention to are the
ones that are one colour. Green with
black writing is kind of boring, and
doesn't really catch my attention.

Alix Strap
Science |

The Mat Brechtel poster caught my
attention because it has the goals that
he wants to do, and it wasn’t like the
nude ones that are trying to catch your
attention. His was to the point, and
that’s who | would vote for if | vote.

Compiled and photographed by
Andrew Tougas and Daniel Kazsor

Enter to win
a Palm PDA!

As part of a research project, the University
of Alberta Libraries is participating in a
library user satisfaction survey.

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OPINION

managing@gatewayualberta.ca + tuesday, 4 march, 2003

Loud but quiet

B OMBERS ARE INCREDIBLY LOUD—I've heard—
but still they seem quite easy for some to ignore.

That first point I learned in May of 1999, when
my mother and I (I am still a mother’s boy, after
all) were visiting relatives in Slovenia while NATO
flight crews were working overtime, flying missions
from bases in Austria down to the dacha of the bad
Serbian Slobodan Milosevich. They'd fly overhead,
cups would shake in pantries of the houses we visited.
And back in Canada, the CNN, the CBC and all the
other media acronyms kept North America appraised
of the tonnes of bombs our taxes paid for.

Now, in February 2003, in a place called Iraq, we're
all learning the second point. There, complicating the
blessings and curses affecting the Iraqi people, we're
trying to decide whether we have to deal with a
monster there named Saddam. This is all old news, of
course, just as our heads of state have been debating
whether he’s worthy of the contents of our B-52s. But
while they debate, few people are aware that a few
heads of state have already decided it was hip to drop
payloads on countries they deem unpredictable.

It’s old news, too, but mention of it barely peppers
the newspapers these days. A few weeks ago, the
National Post ran a news story relegated to the bottom
of the page, where American and British jets pounded
an Iraqi missile battery in an Iraqi no-fly zone. The
result was, obviously, a dead missile battery and the
killing of a handful of Iraqis under the auspices of
something called Operation Northern Watch, meant
to “limit Iraq’s aggressive air activities.”

Was this an isolated incident? Not really. It’s been
going on for some time. Consider the number of
bombs Operation Northern Watch has dumped on
Iraq in recent history:

Between December 1998 and June 2002, the United
States European Command lists 168 sorties flown
against Iraq's air-defence network, in a list “not meant
to be all-encompassing or all-inclusive.” Simply put,
once a week for the past few years, American and
British jets have responded to and destroyed Iraqi air-
defence “threats” that haven’t downed a single allied
aircraft since 1991, and most media outlets are mum
about it. Most North Americans received their only
clue to such bombings last December, when George
W Bush painted Iraq as an evil country that “has fired
upon American aircraft.”

Seldom, of course, does anyone mention that those
aircraft’s actions, according to Russia and a few
other UN members, were never sanctioned by the
United Nations in the first place. Further, in 1993
the UN legal department announced there were no
Security Council resolutions authorizing no-fly zones.
Compare that to an enemy coming to your house
uninvited and staying as long as she pleases. But,
instead of sleeping on the couch for a few extra
nights, Operation Northern Watch is leaving JDAMs
and laser-guided missiles in your medicine cabinet.
I'd guess they’d leave wet towels on the floor, too.

It’s a wonder, then, there hasn’t been more than
a few token articles written about what’s going
on. Unless, of course, today’s bombers don’t earn
the adjective “stealth” by being matte black, jet-pow-
ered Lockheed-Martin products. Perhaps it isn’t radar-
reflective tiles or sound-baffling engines that make
today’s bombers invisible, just a tendency for newspa-
pers, television and radio to exercise a strange criteria
of what “news” is.

Somewhere, it seems, there is a Ralph Lauren of the
CNN, deciding what news is stylish enough for the
media runways of North America. I don’t find that
as comforting as a new spring jacket, and certainly,
neither do those on the receiving end of the Northern
Watch.

RAYMOND BIESINGER
Managing Editor

Election haiku

Elections again.
Who will be our next leader?
Help decide. Vote now!

They're, as usual, ;
deserving of mockery.
Hack-o-rama soon.

KRISTINE OWRAM

Associate News Editor

LETTERS

Stelmach misreads
the activist set

For people who are intelligent
enough to go against what the
media and the majority tell them,
Nathan Stelmach sure doesn’t give
anti-war protesters a whole lot of
credit (“Slogans and empty rhetoric
doom activists,” 27 February).

I'd say it’s pretty presumptuous
to assume that just because pro-
testers chant slogans when they go
to rallies, they have no more intri-
cate insight to offer on the matter.
Should one attend one of these pro-
tests, they might notice the lengthy,
well-developed (though, to be fair,
not always) speeches that more
accurately outline the views of the
participating individuals. A protest
march isn’t a mobile essay reading.
Its purpose indicates that people are
concerned about an issue.

A catch-phrase is a compacted
version of the viewpoint being
expressed, small enough for the
media to cover; they don't stick
around for the speeches (or if they
do, they extract a sound bite from
it), nor will the people who watch
the media sit around and watch a
speech. Basically, the catch-phrase is
used to encourage other people to
investigate the issue. ;

| happen to live in the “real world”
too, and the way | see it, violence
always breeds further violence. One
needs only to look at the history
books to see this. Frankly, | feel
the notion that violence is human
nature is nothing but acop-out from
individuals who would rather take
the easy way out by pulling a trigger
than work towards a compromise.

| suspect Mr Stelmach has con-
fused a testament to “irrelevance”
with an expression of a viewpoint
opposed to his own, which is fright-
ening, becausel’dswear|was taught
that opposing viewpoints were par-
amount to a successful democracy.

ALEX MUIR
Arts!

13 February cover
helps perpetuate
harmful behavour

| was totally disgusted with the
filth that passes for photography on
the front cover of the 13 February
issue of the Gateway. assume it was
meant to be in conjunction with
St Valentine’s Day. However, the hol-
iday was not meant to be a day to
revel in sexual promiscuity.

This holiday was originally a pagan
festival, but in 496 AD the church
changed this holiday to be a cele-
bration of the death of a Christian
martyr, Valentinus, who helped
Christians being persecuted under
Claudius ll in Rome. Valentinus dem-
onstrated courage, valour, and integ-
rity, and was eventually executed
because of his selfless acts of love
for others.

This was the purpose of
St Valentine’s Day, but look at what
our society has changed it into. |
think the Gatewayis a perfect exam-
ple of how little integrity a news-
paper can have and how depraved
our society has become in regards
to sexuality. This university newspa-
per is apparently supposed to come
fromsome of the brightest minds in
our society, yet they must resort to

printing filthy photographs.

Then | must also ask, why do one
out of five U of A students have at
least one unwanted sexual experi-
ence at some point in their lives?
Right now, the U of A Sexual Assault
Centre wants more funding for their
program. Why would we need this
funding at all for victims of sexual
assault if our society is so “sexually
healthy” and “educated”?

It seems to me, upon reflection,
that we don’t need more funding,
but students with more integrity.
And if you don’t think we need
more accountability and integrity,
you have exactly proven my point.

LESLEY WIELER
Arts iV

Gateways gutter
humour appreciated

This is a reply to Kenneth Soong’s
letter, “Gateway has become ‘noth-
ing more than a place for gutter
humour” (27 February).

| think that the world needs to
laugh a little more. We are con-
stantly bombarded by serious prob-
lems, and if the Gateway can help to
lighten the spirits, then they should
go for it! If you really find something
offensive, don’t look at it. Chances
are, you're an adult if you're reading
this, and one of the great things
about being an adult is that you can
decide whether you want to read
an article or not. If something looks
offensive, don’t read it; | guarantee
that you won't be offended by it.

| personally enjoy the Gateway for
the fact that it isn’t like all the other
news sources. It’s more personable.
If you want a more serious paper,
then read the Edmonton Journal,
and if you want something more
interesting, pick up the Gateway.

Keep up the good work, Gateway,
because some of us appreciate the
unique views and sense of humour
that you guys offer.

CURRAN CRAIG
Science |

Sexual Assault Centre
poster misleading

The Sexual Assault Centre is asking
for more money in this coming elec-
tion, and unfortunately, they may
get it.| havea problem with the signs
| have been seeing on campus this
week, specifically those that indi-
cate that one in five people have had
an unwanted sexual experience.

This is supposed to indicate to us
that one in five people have been
sexually assaulted. People around
campus are now thinking, “My God!
| know five people.”

However, there are many differ-
ent types unwanted sexual experi-
ences. Does premature ejaculation
come to mind? How about having
your girlfriend walk in on you? The
fact is, these are dirty tactics used
by moral crusaders in a campaign
that they no doubt believe the ends
justify the means.

Maybe they would not need more
funding if they focused on true
sexual harassment, which is a prob-
lem in our society, and stopped con-
vincing hung over sorority girls that
their poor decisions are not their
faults, but that rather they are in
fact victims.

True sexual assault is an issue, but
before you judge me as a chauvinist

ORWELL'S 7987 meels GW. BUSE

we'll force Osama Bin Laden
fo accountabilifize for... er,
Il mean Saddam — we'll force

Sadist

heh heh

pig, go to the Sexual Assault Centre
and read their material. It’s insulting
to the men and women that have
suffered from this terrible crime.

DONN MCLEAN
Arts il

Backstrom very wrong

It is not enough that we are del-
uged by the press releases of Bnai’
Brith, the editorials of the National
Post and the highly politicized inter-
pretations of the Globés Marcus
Gee. Now, the Israeli lobby can count
the Gateway's Melvin Backstrom
among its apologists (“Left’ and
‘right’ can’t keep abreast of the
nuances of politics,’25 February).

Mr Backstrom, why the selective
(mis)representation of the
Palestinian-Israeli conflict? Why no
mention of the fact that for 36
years Israel has consistently defied
the international community? Why,
instead, do you offer hollow apol-
ogetics for the actions of a state
founded on the destruction of the
Palestinian nation?

Despite your vacuous claim, the
West Bank and Gaza Strip are in fact
“occupied.” This is the international
consensus. This consensus has been
expressed in UNSC Resolutions 242,
338,476, 480,672 and 1322, as wellas
UNGA Resolutions 34/70and 43/177.
The consensus is re-enforced by
repeated applications of both the
1907 Hague Convention and the
1949 Geneva Conventions to the
Occupied Territories.

The assertion that the Occupied
Territories are “disputed” is a fiction
manufactured by the Reagan admin-
istration and subsequently sanc-
tified by President Clinton. It is
accepted by no states save the
US and Israel. It deserves mention
in this context that as Occupied,
Palestinians living under the Israeli
military occupation have the right,
according to the UN Charter and
international jurisprudence, to resist
this occupation with whatever
means available.

lf, in the future, you are going
to speak to this issue, please do so
with a modicum of knowledge. As
a primer on the history of Israel's
aggressions against its neighbours,
please read Avi Shlaim, Simha Flapan,
Benny Morris and Tom Segev.

Neither right nor left, none

' dogmatic ideologues, these Israeli

authors are critical historians with
the ability to do something other
than mindlessly parrot Israeli myths.
They challenge the tired axioms you,
in your extremely finite-wisdom,

Godom Hussein,

no wail —

Hussein...

yeah... sadist, 4

Y

trot out so dutifully.

Please remember, Mr Backstrom,
the Israeli colonization of the
Occupied Palestinian Territories is
not about being “right” or “left.” It
is much more straightforward than
that; it is about respect for human
dignity and rights, self-determina-
tion and international law.

SEAN MCMAHON
PhD Candidate, Political Science

Scents should be used
in careful moderation

There are many ways in which my
senses can be violated, but none are
so inescapable as the reek of chem-
icals radiating from the people sit-
ting next to me.

| would first like to point out
a fact: when you apply perfume
or cologne, your nose gets accus-
tomed to it and you cannot smell
it 30 seconds after application. This
doesn’t mean that you should apply
more. The rest of us can smell it.

Cologne and perfume should be
worn in moderation, so only those
who come into your personal space
should be able to smell it.

| do not blame the cologne and
perfume industry for putting such
huge spray pumps on their bottles;
they are out there to make a buck
too, and the more you use, the
sooner you need to buy another
bottle. But as | sit here getting diz-
zier and my headache strengthens
from the reek of the person next to
me, | beg you to put only a dab on
your neck and a dab on your wrist.

We need to share this campus and
sometimes we need to be in close
quarters. | know that some argu-
ments will just tell me to just move.
But why should |, when you're violat-
ing mysenses?

Just a dab. Please. It’s getting hard
to breath.

COREY SCOBIE
Conservation Biology Il!

Letters to the editor should be
dropped off at room 3-04 of the
Students’Union Building, ore-mailed to
managing @gateway.ualberta.ca.

The Gateway reserves the right to
edit letters for length and clarity, and to
refuse publication of any letter it deems
racist, sexist, libelous, or hateful.

Letters to the editor should be no
longer.than 350 words, and. should
includethename,studentidentification
number, program, and year of study of
the author, to be considered for publica-
tion. “God Bless the Student Press.”

8 OPINION

tuesday, 4 march, 2003

> > weeknights@11:25 pm > Hosted by Sharon Lewis
zed.cbc.ca

Coming up on the ZeD performance stage:

Thursday March 6 . Division of Laura Lee

Friday March 7. Ziyian Kwan . Low . Tegan and Sara

Monday March 10. Reverie Sound Revue . The Be Good Tanyas
Tuesday March 11 . Bleep . Convertible Robots . Waking Dream
Wednesday March 12. Brassmunk . Motion . Capoeira Aché Brasil
Thursday March 13 . Martin Tielli . Royal City

Friday March 14. Radiogram . Lappelectro . Amir Aziz

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Student politics
and stupid posters

The Gateway tears the mask off propaganda offered by Adam to Winder,
donating a democracy of insult to the SU campaign material

leer ANCIENT BABYLON’S wall-
scripts to Robespierre’s offset prints
goading the French sans culottes into
revolt, posters have always played an
integral role in politics. Seldom can one
group of scoundrels replace another
without a method of transmitting their
agenda to the masses through this
cheapest of mediums; this especially
holds true in the here and now.

“Here,” of course, being at the
University of Alberta, and “now” being
the Students’ Union election, where
some 22 hopefuls—amateur Winston
Churchills, we like to call them—are
vying for your vote in six different
electoral races. One is acclaimed, the
others hotly contested, but all of them
have poured toner, paper and varying
levels of thought into courting you.

Sound confusing? Certainly, it is.
But thankfully, the Gateway has put
together another SU Election Special
Feature, giving you an unbiased and
educated guide to the candidates’ post-
ers. And, as always, the judging is
more or less restricted to what the
posters say about the candidates, and
not the candidates’ politics.

This year, our panel's qualifications
dwarf those of previous years, led
by the Gateway’s Managing Editor,
Raymond Biesinger, fresh from com-
pleting a PhD in Pretension, and
perhaps best known for his ground-
breaking ghost-written autobiography,
I'm Far Better Than You. Columnist
Josh Kjenner boasts an extensive por-
nography collection spanning ethnic-
ity, decades, and sexes, while Adam
Rozenhart is Entertainment editor
at the Gateway and a student of
Antiquities and Government Lies. He
prefers paper over plastic, and gradu-
ated with an MA in Hot-Shit Radness
from Caribou University.

So, enjoy, gentle reader, and please:
vote with your heart and mind, not
your eyes. Otherwise, there’d be few
candidates worth supporting.

RK

Raymond: Presidential candidates—
now, they know how to express what
needs to be expressed, using as little
lettering as possible. What Mike Reid’s
posters lack in actual text, they more
than make up for in rich subtext.
It’s like he’s saying “About this whole
‘trusted,’ ‘respected’ and ‘experienced’
thing, Josh. I’m sorry I slept with your
wife. Thanks for voting Reid.” What
a wonderful poster to start things off
with.

PRESIDENT
i TRUSTED. &

RESPECTED.
EXPERIENCED.

Josh: Now, I may just be bitter because
Reid gave my old lady a rogering,
but seriously: this looks like a poster
for Boogie Nights. What's up, Marky
Mark? Why is it that half these can-
didates look like second-rate burn-out

celebrities? Why don’t any of them look
like a half-cool person, like Webster or
Charlie Huddy?

Adam: To answer with another, more
important question: what exactly is
Mike Reid “trusted” with, anyhow?
From this sheet, I think I'd trust him
to water my plants when I’m on vaca-
tion, but the plants would have to be
kept outside. I don’t want that man
entering my home.

Geneva Rae, however, is a different
story entirely. Her giant, glowing, pix-
elated face tells me one thing: she
doesn’t know how to use the image fil-
ters in Photoshop. Nice teeth, though.

Geneva Rae

students’ union president

_ Abe cecil enementa 3h ant
Seeisigd er buleig lions cron thielort ded gous,

Raymond: Yes, very good teeth. But
really, Adam, there are benefits to
courting the pixelated and massive
floating head demographic. Really.
Josh: I love this poster! You can never
get too much head, right guys?
Raymond: Youre fired.

Adam: Um... Yeah. Then there’s Mat
Brechtel. Where last year Mat’s post-
ers had beautiful, dreamy sex-eyes,
this one looks as if his soul was stolen.
The text on his poster is all that’s left of
him—give us room to breathe, Mat.
Raymond: It’s the safest design I’ve
seen this year—the poster equivalent
of a 33-year-old living in Mom’s base-
ment. Throw in some U-boats, Sartre
manuscripts and Kalashnikovs and
maybe, just maybe, I'll bother check-
ing out that sans-serif muck on the
starboard side.

Who do you want
calling the shots?

Steve Smith for President

Paradoxically, I feel threatened by
Steve Smith’s subtle and clichéd poster
witticism—'who do you want calling
the shots?” He plays pool and two-
fists shots without a chaser in sight.
That’s a man’s man. I want him off
campus, now.

Adam: You know, his posters last year
were cute. He stood, proudly, for noth-
ing, for “a slightly different tomor-
row.” This one, though—doing shots
was so last night up in RATT.

Josh: You know exactly who I want
calling the shots, Steve-O: a cock-
eyed, alcoholic pool hustler who isn’t
afraid to tie into a few ounces of bour-
bon while its still light out. And don’t
think we didn’t notice that, bud—
those venetian blinds hide the sun as
effectively as your posters hide the fact
you belong in AADAC.

Speaking of hiding, though, I haven’t
seen, heard, smelled, felt or sensed
anything having to do with two candi-
dates who, at the outset of this election,
looked like two of the most promis-
ing options: George W Bushwhacker
and Labattman and Kokanee Kid.
It’s unfortunate that these guys’ cam-
paigns aren't as, um, witty as their

See |

names. Lucky for us though, we still
have Pepsi. I find it odd that a massive
multinational like Pepsi would have
a picture of a guy spunking Pepsi in
a shower. That just doesn’t seem like
good marketing.

Raymond: I'd say it isn't, but it
may be the sedative qualities of
George Slomps poster doing the
talking. “Community,” “Respect,”
“Responsibility,” and “Zzzzzzzzzz.”
This is a non-poster of Brechtelian
proportion.

Adam: Wow, his bastardization of the
SU logo is presumptuous.

Josh: While looking at Slomp’s poster,
a friend of mine noted an unsightly
blemish on this otherwise handsome
poster. He also said I should include an
allusion to this. I, however, informed
him that a publication with the pres-
tige and history of the Gateway would
never include such gutter humour. As
such, the allusion will not be printed.
Raymond: It sure won't be.

Josh: Allusions aside, though, candi-
date Ryan Adam seems to have a
problem with an illusion. The leather
jacket, aviator tints—this guy seems to
think he’s a certain Canadian rock star.
His first task as President: add a “B”
to his first name and an “S” to his last
name, and change the official univer-
sity song to “Summer of ’69.”

Adam: Ooh! And the aviator sun-
glasses! You, unoriginal bastard, are
not a pilot from Top Gun, and even
if you were, you'd be more suited to
being beaten over the head with ABC
Press’ plotter. Drop shadow text is not
cool, fella.

Raymond: Cut him some slack, gents.
It’s not like you choose to wear aviator
glasses—they choose you.

Adam: On to the VP Academic post-

'

ers, though—who does Vivek Sharma |

think he is? The One? I don’t buy it,
Vivek. Not for a second. The Matrix’s

creators are rolling over in their |

graves.

Josh: If this supposed to be some kind ;

of candidate of the future deal, the
future looks dim. Shitty posters rotated

45 degrees, with blatant movie rip- |
offs? Someone get me a garage witha |
running car in it ‘cause this scares the |

scat out of me, baby.

Raymond: And as far as “Make the |

connection” goes, um, it isn't quite

working up for me. What exactly does |
a binary brain juxtaposed with a psy- [

chology student have to do with SU
elections? Is he a social-engineer and
technocrat, set to implement Aldous
Huxley’s darkest predictions? Perhaps
Orwell said it best in 1984: “If you
want a picture of the SU’s future,
imagine Vivek Sharma's boot stomp-
ing on a human face—forever.”

Adam: Please, no.

Raymond: Don't worry, Adam—
Trevor Miller has a lighter spin on
things. An erotic spin on things, even.

ee

THE GATEWAY. + volume XCi number 37

OPINION

9

C’mon everyone, let’s work towards
improving our “entry levels and sat-
isfaction rates.” Sounds like a nice,
relaxed, post-coital campus, but isn’t
that platitude more fitting for a VP
(Student Life) candidate?

Adam: Was Mr Miller born on
crutches? Or is this just some lame
attempt at winning the sympathy vote?
Seriously, the crutches might help him,
but he needs good ideas too. Wiping
his ass with a poster, slapping some
Papyrus typeface on it and snaking the
Miller logo aren't going to win him
this election... or friends.

Josh: Most politicians use pictures that
make them look strong and capable,
and there’s a reason for that. How the
hell is he going to convince us that he
can “work to make registration easier
and more effective for the students”
when he can’t even walk?

Next, up we have Janet Lo, who
opted for the thumbnail-sized picture
of herself on her poster. Teasing me
with thumbnail-sized pictures may
have worked on the scat-fetish sites,
Janet, but there’s no way in hell it’s
going to make this poster appeal to
students.

netio

t Vp academic:

This ix ene’
University
Tihs is one
Educotion.

voTE march & Ano &

Raymond: The “anonymous” look,
though, may be helping her win the
“not ugly” vote. Have you guys seen
some of these candidates’ teeth?
Adam: Why yes, Raymond, I have
seen their teeth. None are so bared as
those on Matt Robertson, who claims
that “four out of five dentists agree.”
Agree with what? Do they agree that
his poster is bland, bland, bland? I
hope he dies of gingivitis.

Josh: On a happier note, the man
cryptically known only as Jones has
Lego in his poster. He also has a pic-
ture that looks like someone caught
him rubbin’ one out on the can.
Raymond: | think he’s preparing for
implementing the “trimester system,”
as the poster highlights, which I’m
guessing is mandatory pregnancy for
all undergrads. Definitely, he loses
points for not having a clear hierarchy
of design and not explaining this con-
troversial initiative.

Adam: It’s too bad Jones’ consistency
is horrible. Are we really supposed to
believe that a Lego character can exist
in a Duplo world? That sounds like
crazy talk, Jones.

Raymond: It turns out that simplicity
lives large in the world of VP
(Operations & Finance).

Adam: Tyler Botten is running for the
Ops & Finance position uncontested,
and it looks like he’s sacrificing flashy
poster action in the interests of saving
money. Let's hope this trend continues
if the students on campus decide he
should be our budget boy.

Josh: Maybe he can use the money
he saved on posters to cap his frig-
ging fangs. If I vote for him, it’s only
because I know he’ll gnaw my fucking
femur in half if I don't.

Raymond: But, about the VP (Student
Life) posters. They're a great set, but
one candidate tried to sell me gags
on slamming his own posters, earn-
ing him little more than a disquali-
fication. Thus, no commentary about
Blair Dent's 15 or so posters, but I'll
note they're much in line with Dante's
circles of hell, each more horrible than
the last.

That brings us to Jadene Mah’s
offering, a square glossy half neo-
Barbie, half Taber Student Council
Representative. Either way, she could've
toned down the colour—electric pink
like that, I've heard, causes melanoma

and leukemia. It’s. yet another tri-
umph of issues-based campaign mate-
vial, too.

Ye stant, Ue

Adam: Does she think she’s Lisa from
Saved by the Bell? Maybe Zack or Slater
will ask her to the dance. Just so long
as that Screech creep stays the hell
away from her. I suppose VP (Student
Life) is just another fancy term for VP
(Party). And if this poster is represen-
tative, Jadene is a perfect candidate to
run Bayside High.

Josh: Bright colours, garish fonts, pic-
tures slightly askew; these things are
of no concern to me. The only thing
I'm thinking right now is if voting
for her will increase my chances of
getting a hand job, and this poster
doesn’t address that concern. That's a
nice dimple, though.

Moving to the complete and utter
opposite of the attractiveness scale, we
have Matt Oberhoffner. Three words
summarize this poster: nice head, bud.
It’s a good thing the poster only shows
the torso, up—this way we can’t see
the spruce bough he just got goosed
with.

Raymond: I'll agree. If I had that
head of hair, I'd consider printing
a Microsoft Word clip-art image of
a sandcastle instead of the over-size
portrait. By “better Campus Pride,”
does he mean a yearly Gay Pride Day
parade? I'd hope so. It’s about time
there was a gay-positive VP (Student
Life) on campus. That'd be quite pro-
gressive of him, and certainly fun. Of
course, maybe I’m not understanding
what he’s trying to convey, and he
loses points for that.

Adam: Thankfully, we only have two
Board of Governors candidates’ post-
ers to look at.

Scott Winder's poster screams, “I’m
trying not to look really short.” And
where the hell was this taken? Does he
expect us to believe he’s hip enough to
bea regular patron of Studio 54? If that
were true, he'd be busy doing lines
of coke off beautiful escorts’ chests
and asses. Only then would I consider
voting for him.

Josh: This camera work is dicey at
best. “A strong voice for a strong stu-
dent body” explains the poster, but
how about his campaign getting a
strong, non-muscular dystrophic pho-
tographer to hold the camera’s focus-
ing ring, ensuring the poster isn’t so
fucking blurry.

Adam: His blurry photo and Star Trek
typeface doesn’t hold a candle to the
old-timey feel of Roman Kotovych’s
poster. I love it! It says Old West with-
out the pretension and insecurities of
a Studio 54 midget.

Raymond: Or not, Adam. West
Edmonton Mall’s Wild West. photo
parlour isn’t going to convince me this
soap-bar shaped head is competent.
Maybe he could be Sheriff, but only a
Klondike Days Sheriff, his duties lim-

ited to hugging children. I wonder

if he knows what a “platform” is, as

there’s no evidence of one here.
Josh:"He knows exactly what a plat-
form is—something you shove bank
robbin’ bandits off of in town square
when they have nooses around their
necks.

Raymond: Well said, Josh. I'd like
you to note that I have*no mercy for
Chris Samuel’s poster, one of the last
two posters we're examining, both of
them in the VP (External) competi-
tion... I can’t believe his insensitivity.
His visuals are derivative of Schindler's
List. There he is, innocent, the photo
black and white except for a single
item, his blue spot-coloured shirt,
aping that sweet, innocent young girl
who met a terrible end. That isn't
snow, no, it’s... too horrible to explain.
In the back, prisoners’ barracks, and
not another soul in sight.

Not only is this in bad taste, but
going for the Holocaust victim vote on
campus is a Quixotic journey—how
many Treblinka-survivor undergrads
are there, Chris? Hopeless, tasteless,
and showing the emotional sensitivity
of a toilet seat.

Adam: Fuck you, Chris Samuel, and
fuck the implications of your poster.
He’s either extremely arrogant, or
equally ignorant. I’m shocked and
appalled. Still, the composition of his
photo and the design of his poster
is fairly straightforward—that’s good
form. Anyhow, I have to make a call
to Spielberg’s people to let them know
how blatantly they’re being ripped-
off.

Josh: Not only does this clown rip
off movies, he’s ripped off the fuck-
ing name of a glorious former SU icon.
I'm not buying it, though—he’s short
by about seven decimeters of hair and
five quarts of hairspray. Oh, and if
your going to pick a piece of clothing
to make blue; why not choose some-
thing cool like a pair of crotchless
panties. Who wears shirts these days,
anyway?

Lastly, Bequie Lakes. It doesn’t have
a hope in hell of being understood
east of CAB.

Adam: Yes, its. fairly clear that the
Beqster passed physics, but a design

course would have done her some J

good. If she thinks the momentum of
these posters will take her all the way
through to office, she might want to
rethink her formula.

Raymond: Maybe F=ma , would’ve
been better, where “F” is “Failure,”
“m” is “me” and “a” is “this poster.”
Josh: Nice qualqulations, Doctor B.
We've already quonquluded that
Bequie is a great physicist; it’s just
really too bad she quant spell that
great. And really, if her first name is
spelled Bequie, shouldn't the last name
be spelled Laque? This girl’s material
has the consistency of leper piss.

EK

fe CONCLUSION, I’m sure you've noted
that we don’t even know what posters
are, let alone elections. Arguably, we're
not even able to piece together a cogent
conclusion. But this we do know: we

have a favourite, two of them, actu-
ally:

Raymond: The SEAIC referendum
poster. Hmmm... This poster is great.
Same with the Sexual Assault Centre.
They use Canadian spelling, I like that
in a poster. Top marks. —

Adam: White and green are my favou-
rite colours. :

~ Josh: ...

| aes U of A Science Undergrad Society

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UNIVERSITY OF ALBERT,

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bvraps, salads & ee
| yi

| and catering 2. may be obtained at:

Féephone (voice mail) 492-2090
e-mail: lexpress@su.ualberta.ca
www.su.ualberta.ca/lexpress

Located in SUB Foodcourt

you

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your best friend

and online at

For more information, please contact

Morghan Elliot,Orientation Volunteer Coordinator
492.4088 or morghan.elliot @su.ualberta.ca

a few of the 500 new
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ee 1%

UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA

1

like this pap? there’s much

much more of it at
www.gateway.ualberta.ca

THE
GATEWAY

1Q) OPINION

tuesday, 4 march, 2003

Writers need respect, too

MIKE
LAU

I've never really held writers in high
regard for most of my life. I'm not
saying I dislike writers—my thoughts
lie more or less with the idea that writ-
ing isn’t particularly difficult. My mind
always stuck to a simple formula when
writing: present an argument, come
up with a few pieces of evidence, and
an insightful sentence or two to finish
off the work.

Boy, was I wrong.

Within the past few months, I real-
ized how much effort needs to go into
a good article for a newspaper. The
time I tend to spend on a typical arti-
cle—developing a fresh idea, writing,
and revision—is in the ballpark of
four to eight hours, and I take into
account the number of articles I dis-
card midway through the process for
a variety of reasons, the total is in the
range of 20 to 30 hours. Of course,
there are times I can miraculously
write an article in less than two hours,
but those times are rare.

My newfound appreciation for writ-
ers isn’t restricted to the journalism
profession either. Authors, whether
they produce fiction or non-fiction, are
under the same, if not greater, crunch
that journalists experience. Instead
of writing about something that has
already happened, novelists have to
come up with an entirely new idea,
which tends to be more of a hit-
or-miss art. The onus is particularly
heavy for renowned writers such as

Stephen King or sci-fi king Robert
Jordan, because they must live up to
the standards of their previous works.
Each new work cannot be too diver-
gent to alienate their fans, but at the
same time, not too derivative to be
called repetitive.

Like journalists and novelists, those
who write textbooks go through the
same process as well. Writing a clear
set of notes, examples, and problem
sets isn't easy because they have to
appeal to a wide variety of students
and professors with varying styles of
learning and teaching.

Textbooks need to be error free too,
which means the time needed for revi-
sion is much greater than anything
else in the writing business. And don’t
forget: your feedback on the textbooks
at the end of the term does make its
way up the chain. If the professors
get enough complaints on a textbook,
that author might find the numbers on
his royalty cheque a little lower than
usual.

Back to journalism, the amount of
precision that goes into journalists’
work is simply astounding. Not only
do they have to inform the public of
daily, or perhaps bi-daily, occurrences,
they have to keep their material con-
cise and to the point. No one really
wants to read an entire essay on the
situation in Iraq or the tuition hikes on
campus, and it’s a tricky game balanc-
ing between informing and inform-
ing in a reasonably readable amount of
words.

So, the next time you guys pick up
a newspaper, novel or textbook and
think it’s a complete pile, think of
the effort that the author put into the
article and give him or her a bit of
slack—it really takes more effort than
you realize.

‘Bush is not a warmonger

COLIN
BELL

These days everyone seems to be think-
ing about a potential war that could
probably oust Iraq’s awful leader from
power, and the opinion of the popula-
tion of this campus is that war is bad
and George W Bush is a warmonger.
I agree that war is bad and destructive
in general, but I disagree on the other
point. Bush is not a warmonger. In
fact, military action is the only practi-
cal solution to the situation in Iraq.

Irealize this will set me at odds with
the anti-war movement and the anti-
American movement, but in this case,
youre all wrong. I respect those of
you who believe peace is the answer,
and I can also sympathize with your
desire to see a diplomatic solution
to the crisis, but it’s probably not
going to happen. Not because Bush is
a warmonger who wants to present
Saddam's head on a platter to his daddy,
but because Hussein is not interested
in co-operating with UN weapons
inspectors, and is even less interested
in voluntarily giving up the power he
possesses as Iraq's dictator.

George Bush is simply carrying out
the duties that should have been per-
formed by the UN more than ten years
ago, when Iraq was ordered to disarm
after its failed invasion of Kuwait. The
UN has failed to enforce any of its res-
olutions regarding Iraq, and this is the
primary drive for war in the region.
Had the UN backed up its original
decree that Iraq disarm, the current

crisis would not be occurring; instead,
the UN chose to allow its weapons
inspectors to be kicked out and do
nothing.

Great Britain and the United States
are obviously fed up with this state
of affairs and are moving to rectify
the situation. Rather than behave in an
imperialistic manner, they are actually
acting in our best interests, consider-
ing the future. Think about it: is North
Korea likely to respect any of the UN’s
decrees if the UN won't even back up
its current resolution on Iraq? I think
not, and it is unlikely that the UN will
ever reach an agreement to enforce
Resolution 1441.

In fact, military action
is the only practical
solution to the
situation in Iraq.

Saddam needs to be dealt with and a
message must be sent to other regimes
that believe they can ignore the rest

of the world, and the only way to
accomplish these goals is to use force, _
The Iraqi people can’t get rid of him or
they would have done it by now, and
waiting for him to die is not an option,
as one of his sons will most likely take
over the Hussein family’s brutal busi-
ness. An outside force is necessary, and
before anybody cries out that inno-
cent civilians will die, I would like
to remind all of you that Saddam has
already killed thousands of his own
people and will probably continue to.

Benjamin Franklin said there was
never a bad peace or a good war, but
he didn’t see the twentieth century,
Had he witnessed some of the truly
hideous events that have occurred over
the last hundred years, it is possible
that he would have amended that state-
ment. Peace is preferable, but there are
always exceptions to the rule. Saddam
is one of them. He has terrorized his
neighbours, his people, and the inter-
national community, and it’s high time
he was removed.

Folks, peace is nice, but sometimes
it’s simply a polite way of saying, “I
surrender.”

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Information? www.su.ualberta.ca/vote

Only undergraduates can vote
Please bring your OneCard

STUDENTS’ UNION ELECTIONS 2003

ACh 5" & 6"

23 Polling Stations Across Campus 8am to 6pm
SUB, CAB, Tory Stations open until 9pm

STUDENTS' UNION ELECTIONS 2003

Candidate Q&A: webboard.su.ualberta.ca

THE GATEWAY ¢ volume XCH number 37

ADVERTISEMENT

On March 5 and 6, University of Alberta undergraduate students will be asked to vote on the
following question:

"Do you support:

(a) the elimination of Article VIII, Section 3e of the Students’ Union constitution, which reads:
"Pursuant to a referendum passed on 6 and 7 March 1991, the sum of One Dollar and Fifty-Eight
Cents ($1.58) per Fall, Winter, Spring or Summer Term, from each full-time and part-time student's
Students’ Union fees will be allocated to the Student Financial Aid and Information Centre Fund."
and the cessation by the Students’ Union of the collection of this fee, which totals approximately
$11 000 per year;

(b) an amendment to Article VIII, Section 2 to increase the Students’ Union fees of each full-time
and part-time student’s Students’ Union fees by $1.58 per Fall, Winter, Spring or Summer Term,
which would offset the loss of the $11 000 in (a); and

(c) a transfer of those funds currently in the Student Financial Aid and Information Centre reserve
to the Students’ Union general reserves?"

Why is this question being asked?

In 1991, the Students’ Union conceived a service that would provide students with information
and advice on financial planning, the student loans program, and bursaries — a Student Financial
Aid and Information Centre (SFAIC). Unfortunately, at that time the Students’ Union did not
have the financial resources available to start such a centre, so it organized a referendum to establish
an increase in S.U. fees, which would be earmarked specifically for SFAIC. This is what's called a
"dedicated fee" — which means that the full amount of that fee must be used for the specific pur-
pose for which it was collected. It also means that no more than that amount can be spent for

that purpose.

For the first years of its existence, SFAIC cost less than was brought in by the fee. The excess funds
were accumulated in a reserve — the SEAIC Reserve. However, as tuition went up, and as more
and more students began to need SFAIC, the cost of the service went up, until it eventually began
to cost more than is brought in by the fee. At this point, the extra money that was required was
drawn from the SFAIC Reserve.

Now, however, the SFAIC Reserve is running dry. In fact, it cannot sustain even one more year at

SFAIC’s present level of funding. This leaves the Students’ Union with three options:
1. Raise the SFAIC dedicated fee;
2. Cut back SFAIC’s level of operations; or

3. Bring SFAIC out of the dedicated fee system that it’s now in, and bring it into the Students’
Union's operating budget.

What would be the effect of a "yes" vote to this question?

A vote in favour of this question is a vote in favour of Option 3. It would give the Students’ Union
the flexibility it needs to continue operating SFAIC at its present levels of service without any fee

increase.
What would be the effect of a "no" vote to this question?

This would mean that Students’ Council would have to decide if it wanted to increase the SFAIC
dedicated fee, or if it would rather cut back SFAIC’s level of service. Neither solution is desireable,
and neither is necessary.

What should I do if I have more questions?

Send an e-mail to yes_to_sfaic@yahoo.ca or check out www.su.ualberta.ca/election03/sfaic.

TAT
i

tuesday, 4 march, 2003

pee.

THEATRE

For grant information, call 1-800-398-1141

AS SEEIN Bay

= du Maurier Arts

SPOR

13

sports@eatewavualberta.ca + tesday, 4 march, 2003

WEEKEND SCORES

Volleyball CIS finals

27February Bears 3, Dalhousie 1

28February Bears 3, Calgary 1
Pandas 3, Dalhousie o

1 March Bears 0, Bisons 3*
Pandas 0, Sherbrooke 3

2March Pandas 3, Dinos 1*

*The Bears captured CIS silver while the

Pandas earned CIS bronze
Wrestling CIS finals
1 March Chris Maynes (82kg) wins silver

Heidi Kulak (57kg) wins bronze
D Wolmarans (g0kg) wins bronze
Joe Slobodian (61kg) earns sixth

Track & Field © CanadaWestFinals
28Februaryand Alberta competitors earning
1 March first place:
Elaine Hua— 60m (7.63)
Brian Stewart— 1000m (2:30.91)
Jesse Smith—6om hurdles (8.19)
The Bears finished second in
the tournament, while the
Pandas finished third
Basketball CanadaWestFinalFour
28 February Bears 82, Spartans 74*
1 March Bears 79, T-Birds 82

*The Bears qualify for the CIS finals, but
lost the Canada West conference to UBC

Hockey Canada West semifinal
28 February Bears 7, Dinos 2
1 March Bears 5, Dinos 2*

*Alberta hosts the Canada West finals next
weekend.at. Clare Drake Arena

ATHLETIC NOTES

Volleyball

The second-ranked Golden Bears played host to
the CIS national championships this past weekend.
The Bears took home the silver medal after being
swept by Manitoba in the gold medal match.
Saskatchewan picked up the bronze.

The top-seeded Pandas had to settle for the
bronze medal this last weekend at the CIS finals
in Québec City. Sherbrooke won the gold medal
match against Winnipeg.

Wrestling

Alberta sent four wrestlers to Brock University in St
Catharines, Ontario for the CIS national champion-
ships this last weekend. Of the three Bears and

one Panda sent, Alberta came home with one silver
medal and two bronzes.

Track and Field

The Butterdome was the host site of the CIS
Canada West conference finals this weekend. The
Pandas finished third on the women's side, while
the Bears finished 2nd on the men’s side.

Basketball

The Golden Bears played in Vancouver this week-
end, as UBC hosted the Canada West Final Four.
The Bears made it to the final game, but lost it to
the host T-Birds.

Hockey

The Golden Bears maintained their top-ranked rep-
utation by sweeping the Canada West semifinal
against the Dinos of Calgary in two games at Clare
Drake. Wade Burt picked up three goals and an
assist on the weekend.

The Pandas got ready for the CIS national cham-
pionship this weekend with an exhibition match
against the Team Alberta U-17 team. The Pandas
won their game 2-1 at Clare Drake Arena.

Broomball
Campus Rec hosts the first-ever broomball chal-
lenge at Clare Drake Arena 15, 28 and 29 March. The
entry deadline is 1pm on Thursday, 6 March at the
Green Office.

Compiled byJoelChury

CALEB YONG

Sandy Henderson (foreground) congratulates Bison Toon van Lankvelt after Manitoba’s 3-0 win. Henderson is among five graduating Bears.

Bears shellacked in gold medal match

Bisons volleyballers down Alberta in straight sets after winning conference two weeks ago

BRENDAN PROCE
Sports Editor

For Alberta fans, the score was deceptively close:
the Bears went down 25-18, 25-21, 25-21.
Unquestionably, however, the night ebbed to the
Bisons’ flow.

Alberta led 1—0 at the beginning of the third
game, down two already; it was their only lead
of the match.

One knew something was up when the Bisons
captured their 24th point in the first game, and
normally cool-headed Bears head coach Richard
Schick slammed a ball down on the sidelines in
frustration.

“We beat a great team tonight,” said Bisons
head coach Garth Pischke. “We never expected
and never prepared for a 3—0 match.” Tournament
MVP Mike Munday, of the Bisons, later remarked
that the team had fully expected the match to go
five games.

The Main Gym, on all levels, was literally

‘standing-room only, packed with 2800 fans. An

event staffer remarked that he’d never seen the
place as full as it was Saturday night.

The mostly pro-Bears crowd was loud and on
its feet for the player introductions, blasting acco-
lades on Alberta's starting six as they were intro-
duced on the court. The team didn’t flinch, and
didn’t seem overwhelmed by the vigour of the
crowd.

“We attempted to create, but they put the
hammer down,” said a red-eyed Schick post-
game. “We were a fraction of a step behind the
whole game.”

Fans didn’t lose hope until it was over though.
Despite trailing nearly the entire game, the Bears
kept it interesting enough to keep the crowd
involved.

Something indescribable was up: in Friday
night's gold medal qualifier against the Dinos,
CIS and tournament all-stars Pascal Cardinal and
Brad Bell were stuffing the ball further down
their opponents’ throats than they had all year.
One particularly memorable play saw Bell streak
across court, past Golden Bears faking the spike,
to slam the ball with incredible force back the
other way. Facial expressions of the players were
akin to a cat playing with its prey before dining.
Alberta won 3-1, the one-game loss attributable

only to a slow start. Friday's match was no con-
test.

Saturday, though, the same plays that had
worked all year simply failed. Cardinal’s nor-
mally perfect placement seemed predictable to
the Bisons; a part of the CIS MVP’s skill is his
ability to fool the other team: spiking the ball
into holes, or simply lobbing it over the net when
the other team thinks he’s about to burn his fire.
Saturday, though, the Bisons had the read on
Cardinal, and the entire Alberta team.

“They had a very intimidating block,” said
Cardinal. “They were a little lucky, but we didn’t
have our ‘A’ game.” He paused for a moment
and continued: “I'd like to say it was fun to
play.”

“We'll learn from the losses, but not right
now,” said setter Ryan Taylor. “Right now, it
hurts like hell.”

The game was the final match for Schick as
head coach of the Bears, as assistant coach Terry
Danyluk returns from sabbatical for next season.
It was also the last CIS game, as players, for
Taylor, Cardinal, Bell, libero Colin Stephenson,
and right side Sandy Henderson.

Volleyball Pandas down Dinos to haul in bronze

BRENDAN PROCE
Sports Editor

The volleyball Pandas surprised many by finish-
ing 16-4 in the Canada West conference this
season, travelling to the CIS finals in Laval,
Québec this weekend as the top seed in the
nation, after missing the nationals cut for the past
two seasons.

The great news ends there though, or at least

gets dashed with a little reality.

They ran into trouble Saturday, losing 3—0 to
the fifth-ranked Sherbrooke Vert et Or in the gold
medal qualifier. The upset led the Vert et Or to
the championship match, where they defeated
the Winnipeg Wesmen 3-1 for the CIS gold
medal.

Sunday, the Pandas defeated the Dinos 3-1
(25-15, 24-26, 25-16, 25-20) for the CIS bronze.
Pandas’ setter Larissa Cundy was named player of

the game Sunday, with 15 digs, two kills and two
blocks.

The coach and her crew were unavailable
for comment at press time, presumably several
thousand metres above ground, travelling west
towards Edmonton with frightening speed.

Sunday’s match was the last CIS postseason
contest for Angela Zawada, Brianne Robertson,
and Jossann Mackenzie, who are all in their fifth
and final year of eligibility.

tuesday, 4 march, 2003

{4 SPorTS

The Bears finished ninth in the CIS, while the Pandas fell outside the top ten.

Bears and Pandas
bag three medals
at srappling finals

BRENDAN PROCE

STEVE EVENDEN
Sports Writers

ST CATHERINES, Ontario — In front
of a home crowd of over 1000 at
the Bob Davis Gymnasium, it was the
Brock Badgers men’s team capturing
their CIS record-breaking eighth team
title, while the Simon Fraser women
won it on their end, in their first-ever
CIS finals appearance.

On Alberta’s wing, however, things
didn’t go quite as planned. The Bears
and Pandas fell short of the four gold
medals they had hoped to bag, but still
managed to take home some precious
metals.

“Any time you bring four wrestlers
to a national tournament and three
medal, it’s a success,” said Bears and

Pandas head coach Vang Ioannides.

Friday, Panda Heidi Kulak lost 6—5 in
overtime to Ellen Macro of McMaster
University, but won her following
tussle to earn a berth to the women’s
57kg bronze match. She won it, pin-
ning SFU’s Angela Mah.

On the Bears’ end, only Chris
Maynes (82kg) made it through his
three preliminary matches 3—0. He
fell 9—4 to SFU’s Danny Einhorn in the
gold match, however.

“It’s my last year, and it’s been a
good career,” said the fifth-year grap-
pler, after winning the silver.

Drikkie Wolmarans (90kg) beat
Calgary’s Beamer Comfort 10—0 (tech-
nical superiority) for the bronze,
while Joe Slobodian (61kg) lost by
pin to the Bisons’ Rob Stone to finish
sixth.

Canada West Hockey Finals
@ Clare Drake Arena
Bears vs. Saskatchewan
Friday 7:30pm

- Saturday 7:30pm
Sunday 7:00pm (if necessary)

‘For Locations, Times, Tickets and more information:
492.2231 or check out www.bears.ualberta.ca or www.pandas.ualberta.ca

Hockey men undefeated in 30 vs Dinos

Puck Bears cream
visiting Dinos 7-2, 5-2
in semifinal; Alberta
hosts Canada West final

next weekend
BRYAN LEE
Sports Writer

For every action, there is an equal and
opposite reaction.

Action: Bears dictate a 7-2 win over
Calgary on Friday night.

Reaction: the Dinos answer back on
Saturday, but only in the third period.

Ioverheard a strong-minded Calgary
centre say, “Let’s get these guys,” right
before the third. However, that deter-
mination came too little, too late, the
Green and Gold winning 5-2. Alberta
still swept the series to move on in
the Canada West playoffs, eliminating
Calgary in the process.

“T think we dominated in the first
two periods, but we certainly didn’t
dominate them in the third. They
took it to us. We were kind of sitting
back,” said winger Kris Knoblauch on
Saturday's contest. The Dinos had 11
of their 31 shots in the opening four
minutes of the third period, including
a powerplay marker from team cap-
tain Sean Robertson.

“Give them a lot of credit. They had
nothing to lose and they came out
hard,” said Knoblauch.

Unfortunately for the Dinos, the
Bears changed tactics from their ten-
tative play to match Calgary's aggres-
sion and preserve their two-goal lead.
Wade Burt scored an empty-netter to
cement the 5-2 win, right before a
brawl erupted in front of the home

i

+=

bench.

“There’s definitely a rivalry, and it’s
playoff time, so that stuff happens.
When elimination’s at stake, youre
throwing everything on the line and
battling until the bitter end,” said
scrapper Ryan Wade. Wade, who leads
the Bears with 75 penalty minutes,
was in the middle of the clash.

Other indications of the bad blood
between the two squads were Warren
Toews’ cross-checking double-minor,
Burt getting thrown down hard to the
ice, and Dino goalie Tyler Nilsson’s cut
wrist.

“It’s frustrating when your season’s
done. We tried to maintain our
composure though, since we have
more games to play,” Knoblauch said.
With two goals on Friday and one
on Saturday, Knoblauch reached 200
points for his CIS career.

The Dinos’ frustration was furthered

4
oe

JAKE EDENLOFF
Justin Wallin (12) and the Bears claim their 30-game undefeated streak versus

the Calgary Dinos is nothing more than a media scrum.

by the absence of their top netminder,
Aaron Baker. Nilsson, who played
in the last game of his career, had
problems both nights, allowing early
period goals and back-to-back mark-
ers within a short time frame.

Alberta extended their Calgary
unbeaten streak to 30 games
(26-0-4).

“T really can’t explain it. They’re a
great hockey team and to be unde-
feated to them in 30 straight games is
unfathomable,” Wade said.

“It’s something for the media to talk
about, but nothing we focus on. It may
give us a mental edge when we get up
early in the game against them.”

Seven different players tallied for
the team this weekend: Knoblauch
(3), Burt (3), Brad Tutschek (2), Kevin
Marsh, Steve Shrum, Jeff Zorn, and
Wade. They will host Saskatchewan
next week in the Canada West final.

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THE GATEWAY « volume XCH number 37

Hoop Bears lose Canada West,
but qualify for nationals

Scherer leads Alberta to 82-74 win Friday; UBC wins title 82-79 Saturday

FRIDAY

Busloads of devoted, deafening fans,
the underdog impetus and one of
Canada’s leading scorers in guard
Adam Friesen couldn’t help the Trinity
Western Spartans defeat the Alberta
Golden Bears this past weekend in
Vancouver.

It all came down to one man
in Friday night’s wildcard qualifier
at the Canada West Final Four, as
Alberta guard Phil Scherer, who was
rumoured to be sitting out the first
game of the tournament just min-
utes before tip-off, led the Bears to an
82-74 win.

Scherer sunk four giant triples, and
finished the game with 25 points, and
he did it all on two torn ligaments and
a heavy dose of local anaesthetic.

“You know what? We're going back
[to the nationals], so nothing else
really matters. I've got two weeks to
recover, said Scherer.

The lead changed hands no less
than nine times in the match, and as
the cheers of the Trinity-heavy crowd
dwindled to a whisper in the final ten
minutes, the Bears got stronger, draw-
ing several Trinity fouls and forcing
the Spartans into a last-second flurry
of three-point plays.

“When you get to Nationals, it’s
won and done. It all matters how you
play there,” said Bears head coach Don
Horwood.

Alberta forward Mike Melnychuk
lit up the scoreboard with twelve
points, and even diminutive guard
Gavin Fedorak added an exclamation
point, lobbing a three-pointer over the
head of Trinity guard Adam Friesen.

The win translates into a national
championship berth for the Bears,
who won the national title last year.

“Tm the only guy left from the start-
ing lineup—so it’s a testament to our
coach, and the state of things and
how hard we work all year long,” said
Scherer.

— Sarah Conchie, The Ubyssey

SATURDAY
Thanks for the memories. The

Canada West championship trophy
now belongs to the Thunderbirds after
a memorable night that saw veteran
UBC guard Kyle Russell score a career-
high 43 points.

“I'm very proud of our guys. We
battled against a very, very good team,
and Kyle Russell, I thought, played
awesome,’ said Bears head coach Don
Horwood. “But I'm very proud; a
three-point loss against Kyle and those
guys—wer'e pretty proud of how we
battled here tonight.”

With the pressure off for the national
bid, the only thing riding on Saturday’s
game was seeding in the national tour-
nament, and a nice, shiny trophy.

The T-Birds squared off against the
defending national champions, this
years incarnation of the Alberta Golden
Bears, in front of 2500 fans on Saturday
night.

Playing without the indomitablePhil
Scherer—who tore two ligaments in
his ankle Friday night—Alberta was
still aggressive, resting its offence on
forward Mike Melnychuk, who scored
eleven of Alberta's first 13 points,
including three three-pointers.

By the 15-minute mark, the Bears
were up 17-10. But Kyle Russell, in

NIC FENSOM/ THE UBYSSEY
Mike Melnychuk (above) and the Bears fell 82-79 to UBC without Phil Scherer.

his last performance in War Memorial
Gym as a Thunderbird, quickly turned
the game into a fitting farewell.

With five minutes left to play in the
half, Russell hit rookie Casey Archibald
with a long distance pass spanning the
entire court. Archibald finished with
a lay-up, and sent the T-Birds on a
six-point run to tie the game at 31.
Archibald then sunk a long jumper in
the closing minute, putting UBC up
AL—39;

The Alberta Golden Bears hung
on, however, and just after the ten-
minute mark in the second half,
an inside jumper from guard Mike
Melnychuk put the Bears ahead by
one point.

The Bears continued to stretch to
their limits to keep ahead of UBC,
but Kyle Russell was already soaring.
He notched a game total of 19 points
from behind the free-throw line, and
led the T-Birds to a six-point lead
in the last five minutes of the game.
Although Alberta managed to bring
it back to a single point, they desper-
ately fouled rookie Casey Archibald
in the final seconds, and UBC won
the match 82-79.

_ — Rob Nagai, The Ubyssey

Smith sets
school —
record in
pentathlon

BRENDAN PROCE
Sports Editor

There was undoubtedly a buggy load
of stories at this weekend’s Canada
West track and field finals, but perhaps
the most interesting was Golden Bear
rookie Jesse Smith breaking the U of A
pentathlon record.

“You can feel it when you don't
screw up at all,” he said. “But I didn’t
shoot to break the record. It’s just a
really nice bonus.”

The indoor pentathlon combines
fives events: 60m hurdles, high jump,
long jump, shot put and an 1000m
Tun. Competitors are assigned a point
tally for each event, and Smith’s total of
3758 set a new bar for the University.
He finished second in the event, to
Calgary's Trevor Phillips (3804), who
also holds the CIS men’s indoor pen-

KATIE TWEEDIE

U of Ahad strong 60m, 60m hurdles and 1000m performances this weekend.

tathlon record at 3812 points, set in
2000.

The first-year arts student, who
intends to declare a major in political
science, finished first in the 60m hur-
dies at 8.19 seconds, and third in the
long jump, at 6.93m.

Smith, among others, was cheering
for his Alberta teammates on the side-
lines when he wasn’t competing.

“This team’s great,” he said, hold-
ing a banner to cheer on Pandas Carle
Evans, Carrah Bouma, Heidi Nusse and
Erin Loxam in the women’s 4x800m
relay. “Everybody gets along. When
youre competing it’s individual, but

we're very much a team.”

Another Golden Bear, team captain
Grant Chapman, finished the weekend
third and fifth in the 16 and 35 pound
shot put events respectively, throwing
at 15.74m and 16.77m.

“I was consistent,” he said, from
inside a Guba suit, cheering with
Smith. “The nationals have always
been my meet. You don’t want to peak
too early.”

The Bears finished second in the
Canada West conference as a team,
while the Pandas finished third. The

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= e | e
The Sacred — Disease

An Abrupt Introduction

twas at home when it happened, thank god, and it
only lasted about 20 seconds. The first thing | felt,
oddly enough, was curiosity. | was mesmerized
by the strange, pulsating static in my left ear, get-
ting louder and louder. Gradually | began to hear
a babble of voices in my right ear, and | strained
to understand what they were saying. Suddenly it
occurred to me that this was all cause for extreme
alarm. So, | stood up and yelled to my mother, a
doctor, dimly realizing that | couldn't speak. Then |
blacked out.

| regained consciousness about five minutes later,
with paramedics asking my motherandme embar-
rassing questions about experiencing “any incon-
tinence.” Wittily, | vomited.

This anecdote was my introduction into the world
of epilepsy. In the months to come, my family and
| would be flung into a confusing and often fright-
ening circus of pills, seizures, hospital visits, pills,
brain'scans, tests, frustration, and more pills.

It is not very common to witness an epileptic sei-
zure, and you. don't often hear about epilepsy in
school or on the news, which makes people think
epilepsy is very rare. The truth is just the opposite:
it is very unlikely that you don’t know anyone with
epilepsy, since at least one per cent of Canadians
have the condition. That’s about six times more
common than AIDS.

The Sacred Disease and The
Epilepsy Hall of Fame

“Men regard its nature and cause as divine from
ignorance and wonder, because it is not at all like
to other diseases.”

Although he probably didn’t know it, when
Hippocrates wrote this statement about the con-
dition his fellow Greeks called “the sacred

disease,”

he summa-

rized —_- attitudes

towards epilepsy from

2000 BC until our modern

day. Feared, hated, and occasionally

worshipped, this oldest-known: brain disor-

der has helped shape politics, religion, philosophy,
and medicine.

Babylonian medical texts from as far back as 2000
BC refer to epilepsy, emphasizing its supernatural
etiology. Different types of seizures were associ-
ated with various, mostly evil, spirits.

These notions would be seen later in ancient Greek
culture, where. sufferers of epilepsy were some-
times called “seleniazetai,” an allusion to the moon
goddess Selene. The word “lunatic,” which origi-
nally referred to someone who was normal but
experienced recurring bouts of insanity, coincid-
ing with the cycles of the moon, may have been
coined to refer to epileptics. Even our current term
epilepsy comes froma Greek word meaning “to be
seized by forces from without.”

“MEN REGARD ITS NATURE AND CAUSE
AS DIVINE FROM IGNORANCE AND
WONDER, BECAUSE IT IS NOT AT ALL LIKE

TO OTHER DISEASES.”
— Hippocrates

Starting at around 400 BC, medical scholars, such
as Hippocrates in Greece, and early practitioners
of Ayurvedic medicine in India, began to indepen-
dently recognize epilepsy correctly as a disorder
of the body, not the spirit. However, any advances

in epilepsy

knowledge

did. not last: the

disorder would be

predominantly. viewed as

supernatural in origin until the
eighteenth or nineteenth century.

Although epilepsy has often been associated with
low intelligence or other mental defects, history
is ‘in fact riddled with the so-called “epileptic
genius’—someone who rose to greatness despite
(orsometimes because of) their condition. We know
of several personages of the ancient world who had
epilepsy, most prominently Socrates, Alexander
the Great, Pythagoras, and Julius Caesar.

Statesmen Peter the Great and Napoleon
Bonaparte had epilepsy, as well as many great art-
ists, including Vincent van Gogh, Leonardo da Vinci,
and Michelangelo Buonarroti.

Perhaps most impressive is the number of authors
who had epilepsy, including Lord Byron, Moliere,
Flaubert, Dante Alighieri, Charles Dickens, Truman
Capote, and, most famously, Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

Dostoyevsky was deeply affected by his epilepsy,
and included many epileptic characters in his writ-
ings. He hada special kind of temporal lobe epilepsy
later known as “Dostoyevsky’s epilepsy,’ which was
characterized by a pre-seizure “aura” of extreme
happiness followed by loss of consciousness and
convulsions. He described the initial ecstasy as the
“terrible gift of mercy from his epilepsy, and once
commented that he “would not exchange it for all
the delights of the world.”

It has been postulated by many, including
Dostoyevsky himself, that this specific type of
“divine” epilepsy is the kind that afflicted proph-
ets such as Joan of Arc and Mohammed, both of
whom had seizure disorders.

So What the Hell is
Epilepsy?

In. the late nineteenth century, modern medicine
finally saw a functional, physiologically-based defi-
nition of epilepsy, written by J H Jackson:

“tIt] is an occasional, excessive, and disorderly dis-
charge of nerve lie. brain] tissue... [Epilepsy] occurs
inall degrees; it occurs with all sorts of conditions
of ill health at all ages, and under innumerable cir-
cumstances.”

A seizure alone does not imply epilepsy. Non-
epileptic causes of seizures include excessive drink
ing or use of any psychoactive drug, a fever
(especially in infants and babies), sleep disorders,
and hypoglycemia, to which diabetics are particu-
larly susceptible. Brain trauma such as stroke, head
injury or tumour can cause seizutes either perma-
nently or temporarily, depending on the nature
of the injury. Seventy-five percent of people who
have a single seizure never have another.

Any condition where seizures recur over a period
of time, in the absence of a temporary cause, 1s
classified as epilepsy.

Seizures: More Diverse than
a box of Lucky Charms

Although there are dozens of types of seizures, fj .
they can generally be divided into 2 classes: partial
seizures originate in a relatively small area of the
brain (though they can later spread), whereas gen-
eralized seizures affect both sides of the brain sym-
metrically and have no focused point of origin.

Since partial seizures are potentially localized to
a smaller area of the brain, their symptoms have

THEGATEWAY «¢ volume XCU number 37

much greater variety and specificity. Depending
on the part of the brain affected, they can be
as mild as a tingling sensation; déja vu; disorienta-
tion; strange thoughts, perceptions or emotions; or
actions resembling drunkenness. Onthe other hand,
they can also cause nausea, uncontrolled behaviour,
or can evolve into a tonic-clonic attack (formerly
called “grand mal”), characterized by loss of con-
sciousness and violent muscle spasms. Seizures can
last from several seconds to several minutes. Most
people with epilepsy fall into the partial seizure cat-

egory.

Generalized seizures display slightly more unifor-
mity. The two most common types are absence sei-
zures (formerly called “petit mal”), and tonic-clonic
seizures (“grand mal”). An absence seizure, as the
name implies, is a sudden but brief period of statue-
like motionlessness. A person can be stopped right
inthe middle of a sentence, and pick up 30 seconds
later exactly where he or she left off. There is usually
no sense of time loss. Absence seizures.also come in
more complex forms; for instance, it is not uncom-
mon for certain unconscious “automatisms” such
aslip licking or fidgeting, or mild muscle spasms, to
occur while the seizure is in progress.

The tonic-clonic seizures are what most people
imagine when-they. hear. about.epilepsy. They usu-
ally last from 30 seconds to several minutes, and
involve loss of consciousness and convulsions.

Several variations of this type of seizure are charac-
terized by tatal muscle relaxation, complete muscle
tension, orstillness punctuated by pulse-like spasms,
and they can occur while awake or asleep.

Forewarning and the
Japanese Seizure Robots

The aura is the earliest part of a seizure recognized.
Itis often an odd olfactory, visual or auditory halluci-
nation that gives “early warning” of a seizure. Auras
are most often associated with partial seizures, in
which case they can sometimes be used to discover
inwhich area of the brain the seizure originates.

Conversely, since a seizure is essentially an uncon-
trolled chain reaction of firing neurons, sometimes
factors that cause undue imbalance in the seizure-
prone part of the brain may precipitate a seizure.
In general, factors like stress, alcohol and sleepless-
ness can increase chances of a seizure.

In rare cases, very specific stimuli can cause a sei-
zure. The most famous of these “reflex epilepsies”
is photosensitive epilepsy, discussed below. Other
potential stimuli include hearing a specific sound,
tasting or smelling a certain food or smell, or even,
in the rarest cases, thinking certain thoughts.

Don’t Believe Everything
You Read

Every couple years, the media publicizes informa-
tion about a seizure disorder that briefly grabs peo-
ple’s attention, but often leaves the whole story
missing. Some examples:

Pseudoepilepsy Like epilepsy, pseudoepilepsy is
characterized by seizures. However, brain electrical
activity is normal during the seizures, indicating
that there is no physiological basis for the epilepsy-
like condition. Although many people diagnosed
with pseudoepilepsy feel they are being accused of
faking it, or of simply being crazy, health care pro-
fessionals should be very careful to emphasize that
the condition is real, not imagined. The difference is
that pseudoseizures are not caused by uncontrolled
brain activity, but instead have a different source,
sometimes psychological, usually unknown.

Photosensitive epilepsy Sometimes, certain pat-
terns or frequencies of flashing lights may cause
a person to have a seizure: In recent years, video
games have become notorious “causes” of epilepsy,
but this impression is not quite accurate. If some-
one is among the five per cent of epileptics whose
epilepsy is photosensitive, then lights (from TV or
video games, strobe lights, etc) may cause a seizure,
even when the eyes are closed; someone who is not
predisposed to such seizures cannot be affected.
Risk of seizure can be reduced by numerous means,

FEATURE 7

yeqeligd

such as watching TV in a well-lit room at an appro-
priate distance.

Vaccihe-Induced Epilepsy In the past year, there
have been growing concerns that the DTP (diphthe-
ria-tetanus-pertussis) triple vaccine has caused epi-
lepsy and other brain disorders in children between
ages one and two. The most recent and largest
study indicated there was no increase of epilepsy
in children who received the vaccine; however, pre-
vious studies implied the opposite. The question is
therefore still open, and the answer may lie some-
where in between. For example, the vaccine may
accelerate epilepsy development in children who
would have developed it later in life.

The Test Results

The majority of people with epilepsy can have
their symptoms relieved or at least greatly reduced
through medication. However, as many-as
16 per cent of patients continue to have
uncontrolled seizures. As result,
many will never, forexample,
be able to drive or swim
unaccompanied.

Adults with epi-
lepsy are
more likely

to expe-
rience

depression and have a higher suicide rate than the
general population. Aside from the stresses of the
condition itself and any side effects medication
may cause, people with epilepsy frequently have
feelings of alienation from having an often-stigma-
tized disease, and often feel shame or humiliation if
they have a seizure in public.

Despite the large number of people with epilepsy
(over 50 million worldwide), popular conceptions of
epilepsy—even in Canada—are still dominated by
stereotypes and overgeneralizations.A little knowl-
edge and a little understanding can do a lot toward
making awareness of the disease as widespread as
its incidence.

Words Chris Krause
Photos Angela Schenstead

18 ADVERTISEMENT

tuesday, 4 march, 2008

Students’ Union

Employment Opportunities

TERMS OF OFFICE: 1 May 2003 to 30 April 2004 (in most cases)
APPLICATION DEADLINE: Wednesday, 12 March 2003, 5:00 p.m. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Submit COMPLETE PACKAGE to 2-900 SUB

APPLICATION FORMS: Available at SU Reception Desk 2-900 SUB, and SUB, HUB, CAB Info Booths and Faculty Association
Offices or online at www.su.ualberta.ca.
Confidentiality respected.

IMPORTANT INSTRUCTIONS

Please submit only single sided documents. We thank everyone who applied,
however ONLY shortlisted and successful applicants will be notified.

Please be available for the noted interview time.

Applicants must be undergraduate students and have paid full Students’ Union fees.

Positions subject to Council ratification and signing of employment contract.

Academic Affairs Coordinator
Reports to the VP Academic. Assists and reports on various academic issues
‘— coordinating projects related to academic affairs. Represent the VP Aca-
demic and serve as the resource person for the AAB, GFCSC and student reps
‘on University committees. This position requires a minimum of 20 hours per
week in office time.
Remuneration: | $1098/month May-Aug

$961/month Sept-April

fo further information contact the VP Academic.

Interviews scheduled for Wednesday, March 26, starting at 8:00 p.m.

Chief Returning Officer

Reports to the President of the Students’ Union and oversees all electoral
logistics. Must be familiar with election process and bylaws. Excellent proj-
ect management skills are required to succeed in this position. .
Remuneration: $3600 flat rate.

For further information contact the President.

Interviews are scheduled for Tuesday April 1 at 5:00.

ECOS (Environmental Coordination Office of Students) Director*
Reports to Manager of Student Services. Responsible for researching envi-
ronmental issues within the SU and general University. Will oversee the daily
running of the ECOS office in SUB as well as oversee initiatives relating to the
environment.

Remuneration: $800/month. Salary is currently under review.

For further information contact the Manager of Student Services at 492-4236.
Interviews are scheduled for Friday, March 28, starting at 5:00 p.m.

Athletic Campus Events Coordinator

Reports to the VP Student Life. Works on programming component relating to
U of A Athletic Events. Term of this position may be August 15/03-Nov. 30/03
and Jan2/04-March 31/04. Requires a minimum average of 20 hours per week
in office time. Please note: Position iscurrently under review and may not be

renewed for the coming year

Remuneration: $892/month |.

For further information contact the VP Student Life
Interviews Thursday March 27, starting at 7:00 p.m:

Community Relations Coordinator
Reports to the VP External. Assists with organization of on and off-campus
events designed to introduce members of the community and prospective
students to the Students’ Union and the University of Alberta. This position
requires a minimum of 20 hours per week in office time.
Remuneration: —$1098/month May - August

$961/month Sept. - April

For further information contact the VP External.
piterviews scheduled for Thursday March 27, ek at 5:00 p.m.

Student Activities Coordinator .
Reports to the VP Student Life. Assists with the programming and the volun-
teér management components of the VP Student Life’s portfolio. This position
requires a minimum of 20 hodirs per week in office time.
Remitineration: $1098/4montl May - August
~ $961/month Sept. - April
For further information contact the VP Student Life. :
Interviews scheduled for Thursday, March 27, starting at 5:00%p.m.

oR cording Secretary

meetings. Must type minutes on a Mac within a designated time frame.
Qualifications:

Must have experience minute taking, know Roberts’ Rules of Order and parlia-

mentary procedure.

Remuneration: $79.95/meeting

For further information contact Catherine van de Braak at 492-4241.
Interviews are scheduled for Thursday March 20, starting at 4:00 p.m.

Speaker of Students’ Council
Reports to Students’ Council. Must have experience chairing meetings and a
strong working knowledge of Roberts’ Rules of Order. Chairs all meetings of

Students’ Council in accordance with Roberts’ Rules of Order and the Standing

Orders of Students’ Council.

Remuneration: $130.00/meeting

For further information contact the President.

Interviews scheduled for Friday March 28, starting at 7:00 p.m.

* All Director positions are 25-30 hours per week.

record accurate minutes of all Students’ Union Council

Information Services Director*

Reports to Manager of Student Services. The Information Registries offers a
wide variety of services to students via three information booths and a main
office. Also operates a TicketMaster outlet and accepts Gateway classified ads
from the public.

Remuneration: $1372/month

For further information contact the Manager of Student Services at 492-4236.
Interviews are scheduled for Monday March 24, starting at 5:00 p.m.

OmbudService Director*

Reports to Manager of Student Services. Must possess strong listening skills
and be an effective mediator. Must be familiar with University and Students’
Union grievance and appeal procedures, and will represent and advise stu-
dents on such matters.

Remuneration: $1318/ month

Term: This position requires a two-year commitment.

For further information contact the Manager of Student Services at 492-4236.
Interviews are scheduled for Monday March 24, starting at 7:00 p.m.

Safewalk Director*

Reports to Manager of Student Services. Work with other units on campus

to improve and promote safety. Excellent opportunity to develop volunteer
management and administrative skills.

Remuneration: $1346/ month

For further information contact the Manager of Student Services at 492-4236.
interviews are scheduled for Thursday March 27, starting at 8:00 p.m.

Student Distress Centre Director*

Reports to the Manager of Student Services. In conjunction with the Distress
Line, offers peer counselling, crisis intervention and information/referral
services to the campus community. Responsible for the recruitment, training
and supervision of the service’s volunteers. Must have at least one year of
comparable peer-counselling experience.

Remuneration: $1346/ month

For further information contact the Manager of Student Services at 492-4236.
Interviews are scheduled for Wednesday, March 26 starting at 5:00 p.m.

Student Groups Director*

Reports to the Manager of Student Services: Organize and provide support to
a diverse array of student groups as the Director of Student Groups. Provide
administration and support to these groups.

Remuneration: $1152/ month

For further information contact the Manager of Student Services at 492-4236.
Interviews are scheduled for Thursday March 27, starting at 5:00 p.m

THE GATEWAY. + volume XC sumber 37 ADVERTISEMENT 19

Volunteer Opportunities

Boards & committees

TERMS OF OFFICE: 1 May 2003 to 30 April 2004
APPLICATION DEADLINE: Wednesday, 12 March 2003, 5:00 p.m. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Submit COMPLETE PACKAGE to 2-900 SUB

APPLICATION FORMS: Available at SU Reception Desk 2-900 SUB, and SUB, HUB, CAB Info Booths, and Faculty Association
Offices or online at www.su.ualberta.ca.
Confidentiality respected.

IMPORTANT INSTRUCTIONS : —
Please submit only single sided documents. We thank everyone who applied, however ONLY shortlisted LYE DALE ee BR
and successful applicants will be notified. Please be available for the noted interview time. S I UD T.
: Applicants must be undergraduate students and have paid full Students’ Union fees. U N | O N
STUDENTS’ UNION BOARDS AND COMMITTEES INTERNAL REVIEW BOARD
-requires 2 student-at-large members

EMIC AFFAIRS BOARD -continually reviews existing bylaws and operating policies
quires 6 student-at-large members -monitors the operations of the Students’ Union
makes recommendations to Students’ Council on academic issues -directs and recommends action in form of bylaws or policies
assists and advises the Vice-President Academic For further information contact the President
eals with activities relating to student awareness of academic issues Interviews scheduled for Tuesday, April 15, starting at 5:00 p.m.
ministers Students’ Union Awards
further information contact the VP Academic PROGRAMMING COMMITTEE
iews scheduled for Friday, April 11, starting at 5:00 p.m. -requires 5 student-at-large members

-makes recommendations regarding SU entertainment events and programs
UND COMMITTEE -provides reports to Students’ Council regarding SU events & activities.
3,student-at-large members For further information contact the VP Student Life
gibility guidelines, setting the number and value, and actual Interviews scheduled for Monday, April 14, starting at 5:00 p.m.
on Access Fund bursaries
fing aspect of the Access Fund STUDENT GROUPS COMMITTEE
the VP Operations & Finance -requires 5 student-at-large members
, Starting at 8:00 p.m. -considers grants for financial assistance from SU student groups

-selects student groups to receive work for the SU-sponsored events and Din-
woodie Lounge
-advises the Director of Student Groups on all matters concerning clubs regis-

volvement Awards tered to the Students’ Union
cen For more information, contact the Student Groups Director at 492-9789
Starting at 5;00 p.m. Interviews scheduled for Tuesday, April 15, starting at 5:00 p.m.

STUDENT LIFE BOARD

-requires 6 student-at-large members

-makes recommendations and raises awareness of non-academic University
issues

-monitors and provides direction to RHA, Programming and WOW Planning
Committee

For more information, contact the VP Student Life

Interviews scheduled for Friday, April 11, starting at 5:00 p.m.

EXTERNAL AFFAIRS BOARD
requires 6 student-at-large members
sates and coordinates project

ing various issues of STANDING COMMITTEES OF

THE UNIVERSITY PRESIDENT AND VICE PRESIDENTS
COMMITTEE ON OCCUPATIONAL

HEALTH & SAFETY & ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES

-requires 1 undergraduate student

-to recommend policy and serve as the focal point for consideration of policy
issues to the University community

-to receive reports from the Committee of Bio-Safety and Radiation Control,

FINANCIAL AFFAIRS BOARD
-requires 4 student-at-large members

ines for liminary budge admin. units, and committees with related issues and programs
“-prepares the SU final budget for Students’ C Meets: At the call of the Chair
-considers financial matters which relate to the SU
For further information contact the VP Operations & Finance ONEcard ADVISORY COMMITTEE
Interviews scheduled for Friday, April 11, starting at 5:00 p.m. -requires 1 undergraduate student to provide valuable feedback and guidance
on all aspects of the current and future ONEcard operations.

GOLDEN BEAR AND PANDA LEGACY FUND COMMITTEE Meets: At the call of the Chair
-requires 2 student-at-large members For further information on Standing Committees contact the VP Academic.

-determines the allocation of the funds to varsity teams and student groups __ Interviews to be scheduled for Monday, April 14, starting at 8:00 p.m.
on the basis of need

For further information contact the VP Operations & Finance UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA SENATE
Interviews scheduled for Monday, April 14, starting at 5:00 p.m. -requires 4 undergraduate students appointed by the Students’ Union

-the Senate’s responsibility is to inquire into any matter that may enhance the
CAMPUS RECREATION ENHANCEMENT FUND image of the University and act as a link between the University and the public.
-requires 2 student-at-large members The Senate may also authorize the conferring of Honorary Degrees.
-determines the allocation of funds to Campus Recreation related programs, Meets: Four times yearly
equipment, and faculities on the basis of need For further information contact the VP External
For further information contact the VP Operations & Finance Interviews scheduled for Monday, April 14, starting at 8:00 p.m.

Interviews scheduled for Monday, April 14, starting at 8:00 p.m.

entertainment@gatewavualberta.ca + tuesday, 4 march, 2003

Rise Against schoolwork at a Fat show

Rise Against

with the Mad Caddies, the Real Mckenazies,
and the Flipsides

Red's

Wednesday, 5 March

KELLY FITZGIBBON
Arts & Entertainment Writer

Just when students thought there was no respite
from stressful midterms and frazzling term
papers, along comes a promise of good, mindless
fun as the Fat Wreck Chords tour rolls through
Red’s this Wednesday.

With the likes of Mad Caddies, the Real
McKenzies and Rise Against, this eclectic group
of punks promises a night of rowdy partying and
hardcore riffs guaranteed to get your grin back.

Unlike the pop-punk sound of their tourmates,
Chicago’s Rise Against brings its unique blend of
their oft-titled “melodic hardcore” to the mix of
bands on the tour: Their fast, aggressive sound
is paired with memorable and singable lyrics,
making them a distinctive addition to the tour.

“We seem to bring a serious element to the
tour,” states bassist Joe Principe from a California
gig on their seemingly endless tour schedule. “We
just want kids to stand up for themselves and voice
their opinions as loud as they possibly can.”

Rise Against certainly has no problem being as
loud as possible. Chatting with Principe proved
true the band’s reputation as a highly energetic
and enthusiastic bunch.

“We have a lot of energy live; we try to inter-

act with the crowd as much as possible. We don’t
like shows where the band is separated from the
crowd. ... The more rowdy, the better.”

The band also hopes to get rowdy at the
Waterpark, perhaps giving fans the opportunity
to watch Joe try his hand at bungee jumping.
“None of us have ever really been,” he says,
adding: “I’d be down for it.”

Principe and his bandmates appear to have
found a comfortable niche, harmoniously blend-
ing aspects of great, energetic punk with more
serious lyrics than just party anthems. The politi-
cal influences of the band can be found on their
latest record, Revolutions Per Minute.

Because of current events, Principe states, they
felt it was important to reach out to their fans
and encourage them “to form an opinion not just
based on one source of info.”

“This tour is definitely a good
example that all bands are not
the same.”

JOE PRINCIPE,
BASSIST FOR RISE AGAINST

“Don’t just read the local news page and base
your opinion on that. Go out and get a different
side, then form your own opinion.”

Individualism and self-determined opinions
can be found in the band’s influences and back-
grounds. Each member boasts a different set
of influences and songwriting styles; Principe’s

RISE AGAINST THE MACHINE Rise Against and a procession of Fat bands hit Red’s on Wednesday.

stems from older punk and hardcore acts and
also from his experience with former band 88
Fingers Louie.

As Joe is quick to point out, however, the band
is not all seriousness. Their humour is reflected
in their many on-tour pranks and even on their
web page, which boasts a faux band bio parody-
ing Aussie greats AC/DC.

“We try to have as much fun as possible,”
Principe says. “Otherwise, we'd go insane.”

One thing the band is adamant to defend is
their place on the Fat label, one known for its

ot

particular line-up of punk bands.

“This tour is definitely a good example that all
bands are not the same. It doesn’t matter what
label a band’s on,” he asserts.

He believes the line-up is going to bring out
the best of Fat Wreck Chords and introduce fans
to sounds they may not otherwise have a chance
of hearing.

With all that energy, folks will find it tough to
have a bad time. Great music, good times, and,
at the very least, a guaranteed way to put off that
term paper for one more night.

THE DOWNFALL
OF WESTERN
CIVILIZATION

A young and stunning Richard Dean Anderson

You know how each fall brings a crop of TV shows
that seem like they were cobbled together from
a gum wrapper and a handful of pocket lint? It’s
well established that only MacGyver could pull off
such a feat. So guess what? Mac might be back.

Quite aside from an ill-advised film franchise,
it seems the Warner Brothers, who can’t stop
be-teenagering classic protagonists, are still con-
sidering a Young MacGyver series. Will it suck?
Remember the Saturday morning atrocity sche
as James Bond Jr | try not to.

Inflicting such a revisionist history of the life
of Angus MacGyver (his full name, as true fans
will remember, was revealed in the classic two-
part dream sequence episode “Good Knight,
MacGyver”) on a viewing audience would serve
only to desecrate the memory of Richard Dean
Anderson (OK, so | guess he’s on Stargate now.
He’s dead to me, and that’s what matters here).

We need to stop this metaphorical acid leak
of terrible ideas with an equally metaphorical
chocolate bar right now, because that’s what
MacGyver—the real MacGyver—would do.

ADAM HOUSTON

The Downfall of Western Civilization is a semi-
regular feature where we tell you what on earth
is wrong with the entertainment industry. Sure,
there are a lot of things wrong, but some things
chap our hides. DWC relieves the chapping.

Fritz Habers story lost in the retelling

Einstein’s Gift

Directed by David Storch

Written by Vern Thiessen

Starring Julien Amold, Michael Spencer-Davis,
andJames MacDonald

The Citadel Theatre

Plays until 16 March

NEIL PARMAR
Arts & Entertainment Writer

What would you discover if you peered into the
minds of two of the world’s greatest scientists?
Playwright Vern Thiessen attempts to answer that
question by probing the thoughts of two very
different men: one dares to dream, while the
other dares to apply those dreams.

Einstein's Gift follows the life and work of Dr
Fritz Haber (Michael Spencer-Davis), a chemist
and contemporary of Albert Einstein; he won the
1918 Nobel Prize but has been forgotten since.
Although he won the award for isolating nitro-
gen from the air and synthesizing it into a fer-
tilizer, thereby averting famine in many parts
of the world by increasing crop yields, what
many of today’s history books fail to mention is
that Haber was also labeled an international war
criminal.

In addition to producing deadly chlorine gas
for Germany in the First World War, Haber’s dis-
covery of the Zyklon pesticide was later used to
exterminate thousands of Jews in the Nazi gas
chambers during the Second World War.

The ironic real-life twist is that despite Haber’s
role in both wars, he was actually born Jewish
and later converted to Christianity to further his
career as a research chemist living in Germany.
In time, however, the Nazis disregarded his sci-
entific discoveries and declared him an enemy to
his native country, forcing him to seek feluge in
Switzerland.

Rather than solely criticize and condemn
Haber’s moral character, Thiessen balances
between good and evil as the chemist struggles
down a deadly path to intellectual greatness.

Throughout the play, Spencer-Davis carries the
weight of Haber’s decision to contribute to such
atrocities with believable self-turmoil; yet, he

THE HORRORS OF SCIENCE Einstein’s Gift looks at the lives of Fritz Haber and Albert Einstein.

remains overshadowed and somewhat limited
by James MacDonald’s charismatic portrayal of
Einstein. MacDonald, who takes on the challeng-
ing role of the quirky young physicist, acts as the
play’s narrator and travels through time, making
periodic stops at various stages of Haber's life.
While both scientists force audience members
to think about thinking, the historical appeal of
Einstein draws you closer to his personality and
leaves you wanting more of the crazily-coiffed
physicist’s ‘story. Even the set's design is con-
structed with careful, mathematical-like preci-
sion that reflects the abstract thoughts of Einstein

ELLIS BROTHERS pHOTOCAMA

more so than Haber: chairs, tables and even trees
are suspended in the air and lowered throughout!
the play in an explosion of creativity.

The curious detail, however, is that Einsteil
himself falls victim to the products of his ow?
mind. In 1945, when the atomic bomb fell it
Japan, the spirited physicist was publicly give?
credit for his work on fission and its application
to the ultimate weapon of mass destructio?.
Perhaps that’s why Haber’s story remains eve?
more tragic at the conclusion of Einstein’s Gift
play that was originally meant to tell his life story
somehow gets lost in its historic retelling.

THE GATEWAY « volume XCH number 37

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 1)

Photogs hock their wor

Objectif Photo Show
Remedy
Until 31 March

HEATHER ADLER
Features Editor

If your idea of fine art stems from the
Pulp Fiction posters you've got cover-
ing the holes in the walls of your stu-
dent ghetto abode, then the time for
change may be at hand.

The Gateway photographers’ third
annual photo show—entitled Objectif
this year—opened at Remedy this
weekend. The display is there for
everyone to enjoy while coffee-sippers
and student-slum dwellers alike can
purchase any of the featured work at
sinfully low prices.

“It's a great way for the photogs
to show their work and be appreci-
ated,” remarks Gateway Photo Editor
Patrick Finlay. “For a lot of them, this
is the first show they've been involved
with, so it’s a nice way to finally
show people what they can do,” he
continues.

And the shutterbugs of the Gateway
certainly deserve a little appreciation.
The Remedy collection offers a diverse
compilation with each mounting as
unique and stylish as the next. From
the rock ‘n roll abstracts of Matt
Frehner’s “Rear View,” which depicts
local punk band Choke live on stage,
to Leanne Fong’s series of female por-
traits, there is a lot more than news-
paper photojournalism to be taken in
at this gallery. Other notable pieces—
such as Eric Uhlich’s series on urban
filth, which features inspired colour
prints of dirty phone booths, urinals,

ADAM ROZENHART

OBJECTIF SHOTS Maylene Loveland’s work hangs on the walls at Remedy.

and traffic lights—are dramatic and
not the brand of art you'll find any-
where but here.

Maylene Loveland captures the
beauty in ordinary objects in her hang-
ings with “Head Hits Pillow,” a mem-
orable image depicting her own old
yellow teddy bear, and “Mumbled
Figures,” a handsome shot of a lost
mitten.

There is a little something to pique
nearly anyone’s interest in this photo

assortment. The event runs until 31
March, at Remedy. So, if your shabby
shack could use some chic or if you’d
just like to take in some remarkable
scenery with your next cup of joe,
be sure to drop in and see what the
Gateway kids are up to. Objectif is
there for photographers and average
hipsters alike to enjoy.

Plus, as Finlay so eloquently artic-
ulates, “You can put up pictures of
naked chicks and call it art.”

MATT FREHNER

SO VERY TIRED The English Beat played an emotionless, lacklustre set last cain night at oy Likwid ri de

WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION? Starscream blasts an unseen Autobot.

80s cartoons return

DANIEL KASZOR
Circulation Manager

Just like Alf’s return (in Pog form),
"80s cartoons are also back in, um,
cartoon form. All ’80s cartoon reduxes
are not created equal, however, and
you have a limited amount of time for
cartoon viewing. I, however, have no
life and am happy to enlighten you on
which of the big three re-imaginings
of the ’80s is the best for you.

TRANSFORMERS

If you lived in the 80s, you probably
had a couple of Transformers toys. You
also probably tried to transform them
really quickly while making noises
like “er-oh-e-ar-e-ar-e-oh” just like
the Transformers on the show.

Well, giant robots that change into
other equally cool things and then back
again is a concept that is physically
impossible to screw up. Therefore,
Transformers never went away. Having

“a series of relatively ‘unfelated shows**

since their cartoon in the ’80s, the
battle of the Autobots and the
Decepticons continued with
Beast Machines which aired a few years
ago. It sadly shatters the laws of physics
and blows goats nuts, mostly because
it is a cross between Transformers and
Pokémon,

At least you can. still hum the
old Transformers tune: “Transformers!
More than Meets the Eye! Autobots
wage their battle to destroy the evil
forces of... The Decepticons!” while
the show plays itself out.

HE-MAN

If you remember the old He-Man
cartoon, you'd recall how foppish-
though-buff Prince Adam would hold
aloft his mighty power sword and yell:
“I HAVE THE POWER!” The Power of
Castle Greyskull would then strip him
of most of his clothes, bake him with
a tan and turn him into He-Man, “the
most powerful man in the Universe!”
The rest of the characters on the show

would promptly loose 50 IQ points
and be completely ignorant of the fact
that Adam was He-Man. The creators
did this because they didn’t have the
animation budget to create a character
model for both Adam and He-Man.

The new He-Man cartoon has no
lack of finances and it shows. He-Man
zooms through the air and has dynamic
battles with the nefarious Skeletor.
Prince Adam is now about a hundred
pounds He-Man’s inferior, making his
secret identity plausible. What hasn't
changed, however, are the downright
ridiculous plots of some of the epi-
sodes. After the nostalgia factor wears
off, the show is forgettable.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

The original TMNT was bad. Not just
bad; it reeked a stench so foul that it
made Turtles creator Kevin Eastman
sell off his portion of the financial pie
and move on.

Why was it so bad? The plots made
the simplistie*ones in Transformers
look like Shakespeare. The animation
was on par with that of the old
He-Manseries, about as pretty as a cow
getting an enema (but with He-Man
they at least had the excuse of pump-
ing out hundreds of episodes a year).
The voice acting was obviously done
quickly and sometimes did not sync
up to the correct characters.

You might think you have a better
recollection of the show than I do.
You're wrong. I have the tapes. I'll
show you.

I can say, without hyperbole, that
the new show is at least five to six-
hundred times better than the old one.
The animation is as smooth as a baby’s
bottom, the voice actors seem to actu-
ally fit the roles they are playing, and
the story is told in an engaging serial-
ization based on the original comics.
Kudos to all those involved.

Hopefully the success of the better
"80s redoes will make some other cool
*80s cartoons come back. Personally, I
can’t wait for the ThunderCats.

2) ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

tuesday, 4 march, 2003

ulating, especially after four grueling
hours at the library, or worse, five at
the PowerPlant.

Any Given Thursday adds to Mayer’s
“personal” side, and the variety keeps
the album alive. The “live” aspect can
be obnoxious, however; we didn’t buy
the CD to hear endless screaming and
clapping.

Included are familiars “Your Body
is a Wonderland,” and “No Such
Thing,” which, when live, are quite
thrilling (if “John Mayer” and “thrill-

ing” actually fit in the same sen- | 50Cent
Any Given Thursday tence). But beware of “Comfortable”; | GetRich or Die Tryin’
Aware/Columbia it’s almost as bland as that chicken | Interscope Records
wwwohnmayercom kiev you tried on the flight to Cancun | www5ocent.com
last winter.
JOANNA CLARK John Mayer is successful with this | ANDREW HIEW

Arts & Entertainment Writer Arts & Entertainment Writer

latest effort. Despite a few glitches,
the average college kid won't be dis-
appointed with this venture into the
world of consumer goods.

John Mayer's double-disc album is
quite enjoyable. It’s relaxing yet stim-

SIMIAN

WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS

If you haven't heard of 50 Cent by now,
youre either dead or completely out
of touch with pop culture. For those
who don't know, he’s been dubbed hip
hop’s Next Big Thing, the latest pro-
tégé of Dr Dre & Eminem:

50 Cent's style is built on a laid-back
flow, one that works well when coupled
with Dre’s booming beats. However,
his monotone delivery makes it dif-
ficult to determine where one song
ends and another begins.

Aside from “In Da Club,” there are
precious few tracks that stand out
on this disc. “Patiently Waiting” fea-
tures vicious verses from Eminem, and
“Back Down” is an amusing rip at

lused to play a lot of pool. Sadly, never got particularly good at it on account

of a freak accident involving a cue ball, a particle accelerator and a dirty pair of
shorts. Please don't ask me about it, it’s still much too painful to-even discuss.
Anyhow, | had to quit trying to take people's money, and get honest work. Before

ver, | was hired by the Gateway.

Following the direction Gomez took
with In Our Gun, Simian have height-
ened their sound with synths and
loops, and some help from Brian
Eno.

We Are Your Friends begins with
a strange guitar loop somewhere
between bluegrass and honky tonk
that signals “La Breeze,” one of the
catchiest songs in quite some time.
“Sunshine” and “Never Be Alone” (the
first single) follow and maintain inter-
est; however, a few songs later, the

that happened, how

Idigress. My dreams of being a pool shark anda professional pool player may have
been dashed, but Mars Callahan’s sure haven't.
That's where Poolhall Junkies comes in.

This hustler film stars a few notables, including Christopher Walken and Rick
Schroder. And I'd like to send you to see this movie—I really would. The screening
is at the Horowitz Theatre on Tuesday, 11 March at 7pm. That's a full week anda
half before the film is going to released in theatres.

Simian album becomes tiring. Ja Rule and his Murder Inc crew. The catch, however, is that you have to be able to link the image above with
We Are Your Friends Simian fails to diversify, which Unfortunately, 50 Cent’s major-label aname.Come up to the Gateway offices on 3-04 SUB and Tell me who that
Source Records ultimately restricts this album from | debut centres around the same tired handsome fellow is and you and a guest will be among the throngs of students
www.wearesimian.com living up to the expectations estab- | gangsta clichés. Fellow Dre disciple cheering on the eight ballers next Tuesday.

lished during the first 15 minutes of | Xzibit does the same, but with tighter
KRIS BEREZANSKI listening. rhymes and a sense of humour, some-

Arts & Entertainment Writer Redemption comes with the final

track, “End of the Day,” a sparse drum
beat filled with vocal harmonies—a
powerful enough song to question
whether anything was wrong with the
album in the first place.

thing 50 Cent doesn’t seem to possess.

With the marketing onslaught
behind this disc, it’s almost impossible
for it not to be a commercial success—
but most listeners will quickly tire of

SITE
mana

THE GATEWAY

Stickin’ balls since 1910

Chanting the oblique chorus of “we
are your friends / you'll never be
alone again,” Simian presents elec-
tro-pop in the nicest way possible.

ANDREW HIEW
Arts & Entertainment Writer

Ever wonder what the most boring site on the
Internet was? Wonder no more.

The creator of this site claims, “Here you will find
the biggest known collection of lonely socks on
the Internet.” Or more accurately, the only collec-
tion of “lonely socks” on the Internet.

Browse the pages, and you'll find about 30 pic-
tures of “single” socks, including close-ups and
information such as colour, owner's name, and back-
ground: “Its brother was kidnapped by the sock
goblin sometime last week and | now have to hop.”

Is this site sublimely brilliant, or stupendously
asinine? Either way, the site’s creator needs help.
Your help, that is. He needs people to send him
pictures of their single socks. Everyone's got a few
lonely socks hidden in their drawers, and it’s the
least you can do to help this sad, sad man.

www lonelysocks.co.uk

Then your therapist snaps his fingers and holds
out his hand. You give him'the $250 you owe him,
and step out into the drudgery from which you
tried to escape.

Therapy takes other forms, though. And that's
why, after the untimely death of former Editor-in-
Chief Neal Ozano, who was killed by an ETS bus
back in 2000, the Neal Ozano Memorial Library of
Obscure and Shitty Books was created.

After the Gateway moved, the library sat in
boxes waiting to be unleashed upon the masses
once more. Finally available again, the NOMLOSB
is stocked by generous donations from hapless
students who wandered into the Gateway offices
looking for SUBtitles. Its many tomes have helped,
and continue to help, countless students in theif
studies of physics, the life of Andy Kaufman, and
other important university subjects.

Among the millions of titles: Linear Control

7” » fa @ CULTURA
Toots Thielemans and
Kenny Werner

Piano & harmonica virtuosos
perform an evening of sublime
jazz.

Friday, March 14th - 8pm

The NealOzano Memonal Library

; of Obscure and Shitty Books System Analysis and Design, Kissing the Rod, and
Winspear Centre The Best New Animation Design.
ADAM ROZENHART The next time you're in your therapist's office

Entertainment Editor imagining your happy place or power animal, of

having memories of your childhood picked apart,

TICKETS & INFORMATION « worldatwinspear.com * 428.1414

Crna

Globai

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1012

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WENSPEAR Cd

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LOMOATOR JOURTE

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When the drudgery of life weighs heavy upon your
shoulders, you retreat to imaginary lands of green
grass, talk, thick trees, deep blue skies, and gentle
blazing suns.

please think of Neal Ozano, his tragic death, and
his well-stocked and never lame library, which now
resides in the Gateway offices.

Rest in peace, Neal.

THE GATEWAY « volume XCU nunber 37

Comics 99

BIG CITY CRIME by Dick Benson

WHEN THE BOUGH BREAKS by Eric R Uhlich

fj30

ANNA by Megan Simko

GOOD EVENING, MA‘AM, AND
WELCOME TO McDONALD S!
MAY | TAKE YOURORDER ?

WOULD YOU LIKE THAT
SUPER- SIZED ?

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DEATHWORLD by Rudi Gunther

HIYA SWEETIE !

iM iS HEY, MAY I ASK YOU

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HAVE YOU EVER THOUG
ABOUT WHERE WE’RE
GOING WITH THIS
RELATIONSHIP ?

WOULD LIKE YOU JO GO To
WORK ALREADY!

YOU THINK
VM READY?

YOU KNOW, LIKE WILL
WE MOVE IN TOGETHER,
OR GET MARRIED AND
HAVE KIDS , AND THEN
GROW OLD TOGETHER ?

THE REAL DEATHWORLD by Kristine Owram & Brendan Procé

Ig Youg NEW
LAST NANE
“Tim BERLAKE

HMPH... WELL IF HE
DION’T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT \T, WHY DION T
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incl uding hilertts title

DA CLASSIFIEDS

tuesday, 4 march, 2003

CLASSIFIEDS

To place aclassified ad, please call
Information Services at 492-4212

FOR RENT

make a difference, build your resumé.
Introductory TEFL workshops in Edmonton
monthly. www.goteach.ca 1-866-912-4465

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Like working outdoors? Painting firm now
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Cruise Line entry level onboard positions
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Apartment forrent, available now. Watersedge,
walktocampusandWhyteAve. Twobedrooms,
two baths. Heat, water and parking included.
River view. $900 Call Val 989-2996.

THINKING OF SUMMER ACCOMMODATIONS?
Grande Prairie Regional College residence has
affordable rooms for rent for post secondary
students working full time in Grande Prairie
this summer. For more information contact the
Housing office at (780) 538-0041 or email at
housing@gprc.ab.ca

FOR SALE

HP 48G Graphing Calculator, brand new, never
used, Call, 430-9488, $175 OBO.

IBM 15” computer monitor, $200. Monarch
queen-sized mattress and wooden IKEA
bedframe, $150 each. bproce@hotmail.com

SERVICES

Do you require assistance with editing, resumé
creation or updating, web design, and essays/
reports/presentations? Any or all of the above
call Jocelyn at 439-9546.

Remember to vote for your Alberta Public
Interest Research Group (APIRG) Board of
Directors representative! Elections are
5-6 March, and polling stations can be found
in SUB, CAB, Education, Faculté St. Jean and
HUB/Humanities. Make your vote count!
Prepping for MCAT? Princeton Review courses
offer the most materials, most class hours and
best results. All materials yours to keep! For
more information, call 1-800-2REVIEW.

EMPLOYMENT - FULL TIME

Help Wanted. Make money around school.
Secure a summer position. $17.05 per hour
appt. Scholarships available. Conditions
apply. Flexible schedule. 436-9444 or
wwwworkforstudents.com/ab

Graduating? Go Teach English! Your degree
is your passport to the world. Pay off loans,

Be the boss this summer: Extreme income,
extreme experience.Last year, College Canada’s
ist year managers made over $10 000. Apply
today for manager, painter and marketing
positions throughout Alberta. $1000
Scholarship eligibility forms are online.
www.collegecanada.ca

EMPLOYMENT - PART TIME

Part-time childcare workers needed for non
profit, school age childcare program. 7 to gam
or 10am, and 3 to 6pm shifts available. May
lead to full time summer employment. Phone
Dorothy at 435-4532.

THREE LINES FOR A TOONIE

Thisis an official declaration of UACS aggressive
intentions toward UASUS! Heed the warning!

Mom, thanks for the yummy yummy muffins
this morning. They were delicious with bran
and made me feel so much better all day! -H.D

TEACH English
Overseas

Travel the
Globe Earn

info Pack: 1-888-270-2941
FREE Info Seminar:

Tuesdays @ 7 pm. 10762 82 Ave

STUDENTS...

NAME:

PHONE:

E-MAIL:

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Enter to win a Palm Pilot donated by the University Bookstore!
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Drop off this entry form at our new location in the bookstore.

Draw Date: April 1, 2003

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
HIRING

The Gateway is now accepting applications for
the position of Editor-in-Chief for the 2003-2004.
publishing year. The term runs from 1 May 2003
to 30 April 2004 and pays $1400 per month
from September to April. Applicants must be
registered in the equivalent of at least one (1)
course for credit at the University of Alberta
during each term of the Fall and Winter sessions
of their term in this position, must be available to
work varying hours, must have computer skills,
are preferred to have been a Gateway editor
in the previous year, and should possess the
ability to deal effectively with Students'Union,
and University staff, students and the general
public. Applicants should submit a covering
letter, resumé and portfolio to the Gateway
Business Manager (Don lveson, 492-6669,
biz@gateway.ualberta.ca) by noon on Friday
7 March 2003. Only shortlisted candidates will
be contacted for an interview. Job description is
available at wwwgateway.ualbertaca/hiring/

THESE ARE ANNOUNCEMENTS
REGARDING THE GATEWAY

LINE EDITOR
HIRING

The Gateway is now accepting applications
for the following line editor positions for
the 2003-2004 publishing year: News Editor,
Associate News Editor (x 2), Opinion Editor,
Sports Editor, Entertainment Editor, Features
Editor, Photo Editor, and Production Editor. All
terms run from 1 May 2003 to 30 April 2004 and
pay $1100 per month from September to April
(Associate News Editor positions pay $700 per
month, from September to April). Please note
that candidates may apply for no more than two
(2):positions, except by special dispensation of
the Line Editor Selection Committee. Applicants

lveson, 492-6669, biz@gateway.ualberta.ca) by
noon on Friday 14 March 2003. Only shortlisted
candidates will be contacted for an interview.
Job descriptions for these positions are available
at wwwgateway.ualberta.ca/hiring/ (please note
that job descriptions may change slightly)

IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS REGARDING ANY OF THE
LISTED ANNOUNCEMENTS, PLEASE CONTACT THE
GATEWAY EDITOR-IN-CHIEF AT 780-492-5168 OR
EIC@GATEWAY.UALBERTA.CA. APPLICATIONS CAN BE
DROPPED OFF IN PERSON AT THE GATEWAY OFFICES
IN 3-04 SUB. THANK YOU.

BOARD OF DIRECTORS
STUDENT-AT-LARGE

The Gat Student lism Society
requires a student-at-large from the University
community to serve on its board of directors
for the term ending 30 April 2003. Applicants
may not be members of the Students’ Council,
General Faculties Council, Board of Governors,
or the Senate of the University of Alberta. If
you are interested, please submit a brief para-
graph (no more than 400 words) on why you
would be a good candidate for this position by
Friday 7 March 2003 to the Gateway Editor-in-
Chief; please outline previous volunteer experi-
enceandnot-for-profit organization experience
if applicable.

OMBUDSBOARD
STUDENT-AT-LARGE

The Gateway Student Journalism Society
requires a student-at-large from the University
community to serve on its ombudsboard.
Applicants may not be a Society member, a
member of the Gateway Staff, a member of the
Students’ Council, an employee of the Students’
Union, nor a member of the Students’ Union
Discipline, Interpretation and Enforcement (DIE)
Board. If you are interested, please submit a
brief paragraph (no more than 400 words) on
why you would be a good candidate for this
Position to the Gateway Editor-in-Chief.

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constructive engagement
academic integrity
faculty associations
off-campus students

trimester system

HAPPY BOB
KNOWS

Campus events and more...

Career and Placement Services (CaPS)
presents: Working Abroad Career Forum
on Wednesday, 5 March, 2003 at 5~7pm
in CAB 235. Guest speakers from Enbridge
Technology Inc. JET program, Canada
World Youth, Capital Health Homecare
& more; Recreation Career Forum on
Wednesday, 12 March, 2003 at 4—6pm
in PE E-120. Guest speakers from AMA,
Alberta Recreation & Parks Association,
Municipal Affairs, Markets International
Inc. and more! FREE pizza and pop during
thenetworking session; Filmand Television
Career Forum on Thursday, 13 March,
2003 at 5-7pm in CAB239. Guest speak-
ers from ACCESS TV, IATSE 210, and much
more! Watch our website. Tickets for each
event can be purchased at CaPS for $4, or
at the door for $5. For more information
regarding any of these events, please con-
tact CaPS at 492-4291 or visit the CaPS
office in 2-100 SUB.

The U of A Students’ Union presents
From Backpack to Briefcase 2003. Dale
Wishewan,CEO and Co-founder of Booster
Juice, will share some of the trials and
tribulations he faced when starting his
business on Wednesday, 5 March, 2003
at noon on the SUB stage. A session on
Paying Back Your Student Loans will be
held on Thursday, 6 March, 2003 at spm
in the SUB Lower Level meeting room.
As well, there will be a workshop, So You
Want to Be an Entrepreneur, cautioning
youagainst common pitfalls encountered
by new entrepreneurs, on Wednesday,
5 March, 2003 at noon in the SUB-Lower
Level meeting room. For more infor-
mation about these events, please visit
www.su.ualberta.ca/orientation
|FBTB2003, or contact -Chris Robb at
780-492.4086.

HBK is a service provided for Registered Student
Groups and University Departments only. HBK
is only printed in the Tuesday editions of the
Gateway each week. HBK does not publish events
that are weekly, on-going, or not open to the
public. Incomplete forms will not be submitted.
Submissions will print for one issue only. Entry
deadline is 3.00pm Fridays (submit your entry on
the Friday before the issue you wish it to appear
in). Submit to the Gateway Offices (3-04, third
floor SUB) or fax to 492-6665.